


The Art of Living

by ayleyinator



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Fantasy, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-03-14 00:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3401876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayleyinator/pseuds/ayleyinator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima Kei, one of the creators of the universe, is reincarnated as a human to live out the rest of his days on earth. After seeing what this world had done to Akiteru, he had made one promise to himself: don't get attached.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been meaning to write this for a while now, so I hope to update as often as I can. I'm also on [Tumblr](http://aoife1108.tumblr.com/)!

Humans are certainly _interesting_ , Tsukishima thought. He had grown accustomed to their strange sense of purpose, or lack thereof, during his years on earth so far. They are peculiar, unexpected, and truly hard to understand sometimes. Alright, so maybe ‘interesting’ was giving them too much credit. Humans are difficult, living is difficult, and what they had done to the earth over the last six or so million years was something that Tsukishima couldn’t just brush off.

_Why am I on this planet? No, why am I even in this galaxy? Is it so I can feel better about my handy work when I look up towards the sky at night? And why a human of all things? So, maybe I was a little bitter while watching the creation of the first humans. Is this my punishment then? I could have been reincarnated as countless other things on this planet, anything cooler than humans, like a tree, or something, a really cool, tall tree._

“Questioning your existence again, Kei?”

Tsukishima opened his eyes slowly, turning his head towards the familiar voice, while still managing to lean further back on his computer chair.

“Oh, nii-chan, you’re back early?”

Akiteru moved from the doorway and sauntered towards him, stopping a few feet before him, “That’s right! I got off early today, and I don’t have to be back in Sendai until Monday, you’ve got me for the whole weekend!” he smiled wide, noticing the disinterested expression on his brother’s face.

“Aw, c’mon, what’s on your mind this time?” he asked, plopping down on the bed.

“Humans”

Akiteru sighed lightly, “Yeah, that’s us!”

Tsukishima groaned, closing his eyes again and twisting around on his chair.

“What did they do this time?” he heard a laugh from behind.

“Exist” he said bluntly, “You saw what they did to our precious night sky in cities”.

“Electricity is pretty handy though, don’t you think?”

“Our stars though. You know how long I spent on our constellations”

“I do, I was there 200 million years ago too, you know”

“I want them to be seen, at least”

“People do see them! There’s entire studies based on them, something we created!”

Tsukishima clicked his tongue, “They’re lucky that I wasn’t around during the moon landing”

That earned another laugh from Akiteru, “And what would you have done about it, huh?”

Tsukishima made a face, gathering his thoughts for a moment, “I would have… written a strongly worded letter. I can’t bear to watch them walk all over it. It’s too important to me, it’s our masterpiece. Well, I obviously would have left that last part out”

“Aw, Kei, your teenage years are finally getting to you. My little brother is growing up!”

Tsukishima pouted, turning back around to face him, “Aren’t you even a little bit angry at them?”

“Not really, we could have had it way worse! Think of all the species that have gone extinct over the course of history. The creators that made them would be angry, right? Our moon isn’t going anywhere anytime soon”

“Those creators could be living grand lives in another galaxy for all we know”

“Well, I’m glad we’ve got this galaxy” Akiteru beamed, ruffling his brother’s hair, “When’s Yamaguchi coming over?”

“Probably within the hour, why?”

“You’re like a different person around him, or something like that, you actually seem lively”

“Is different bad?”

“No, it’s good! You’re getting better at being human too, you know, and high school and Yamaguchi seem to be helping. That training camp certainly riled a new leash of life in you! I’m glad that you’re such good friends after all these years”

“Yeah, me too” Tsukishima mumbled, averting his eyes back to his computer screen.

Akiteru smiled at him, before getting up to head back to the living room. Tsukishima sat up, he’d probably regret slouching on his chair like that sometime later in his life. The average lifespan of a human wasn’t that long, but the years lingered on slowly, nothing like he had ever experienced before, and early onset of back problems probably wouldn’t do him any favours.

Neglecting his homework wasn’t helping at this very moment either. He’d always wanted to meet the creator who had thought that giving humans both a short and long term memory was such a great idea. His thoughts from his human childhood slowly faded from his memory with time, he had noticed, but he could remember his years as a creator very well, and still had a few perks at his disposal. He knew it was inevitable, however, that memory of these perks of his would fade too, and his memory of being a creator, eventually. That part he had still yet to come to terms with, which is why he wanted to delay said memories from fading for as long as he possibly could.

Regardless, he found that repetitive learning worked, and that repetitive learning with Yamaguchi worked even better. He still hadn’t exactly figured out why, but Yamaguchi was a source of comfort in his life, a human whose undying attachment to Tsukishima had no bounds.

He was glad to know a human like him, he really was.

Taking out his books, he diverted his attention to the minimised tab on his computer and sighed. He reminded himself to delete his internet history afterward, in case Akiteru had decided to use his computer. The last thing he needed was Akiteru discovering his impulsive Google searches when having some form of existential crisis.

It was pretty ridiculous when he thought about it, eyeing the definition again on the screen as if waiting for the meaning of his reincarnation to finally hit him.

Live ( _verb_ )

  1.        remain alive.
  2.        make one's home in a particular place or with a particular person.



_Well this is incredibly vague. I suppose I have number one down, I mean, I’m still here aren’t I? I still continue to get up every morning and try to be a productive member of society. Then there was number two. I live in a house, thankfully, with people to call a family, even if I have known the three of them a few million years. Totally normal for a human, right? It’s not my fault that humans who reincarnate into other humans after death fail to remember their past lives and companions._

Tsukishima set his head down on the desk in front of him. Maybe the fact that creators who reincarnate into humans get to keep their memories was somewhat of a burden for Tsukishima. If he didn’t have those memories, could he have lived a more normal life? Could he have had a totally different personality?

He would probably never know, he thought as he closed the tab and searched for a pencil. Yamaguchi would be here soon, which meant he could (gladly) take a breather from the overwhelming memories of his past life.

* * *

The familiar feeling of cold, expansive space flooded Tsukishima’s vision. The seemingly infinite span of the universe was both something of delight and uneasiness to him. But it was calming, it was ‘home’ as he would have called it as a creator, in somewhat simpler times.

Of course there were still things regarding the creation of the universe that Tsukishima would never know, that nobody may ever know, but the fact that he could still zone himself out like this in his human body was something which he was extremely grateful for.

His creator perks that he was able to take with him from his past life, was his ability to flood his vision with space, and the clusters of stars he was ever so fond of, and the moon in all its glory. He could zoom in on them as much as he liked, and admire the intricate details of the creations that he would never be able to see that close with his human eyes alone. Sure, he liked space, but he wasn’t exactly about to hop into a metal contraption and blast off out to the atmosphere either.

He could still consciously feel the room around him even then, his pencil still in his hand, the creak of his chair as he leaned back, and the sound of the wind howling outside. The only part of his mind that was elsewhere were his eyes. So, essentially, he took the saying ‘staring into space’ to a whole new level.

He liked that he could admire the moon in such detail from thousands of kilometres away using his little ‘super power’, as he used to call it when he was a child. He would often zone out and find himself in the same perspective as he was 4 billion years beforehand, during the creation of the moon. As magnificent as it was, he couldn’t tell anyone outside his family.

He knew deep down that this probably wasn’t going to be good for him down the line. His time with his powers was limited on earth, and faded eventually for all creators like him. His parents had lost their ability in their early twenties, as expected. It was a little different, however, for Akiteru, who had lost his ability in his final year of high school.

 _“I guess I got so desperate, huh? Human emotions are really strong sometimes, Kei. I guess I’ve finally fallen to humanity now! I’ll be okay though, we’ll be okay! We’ve always had each other, right?”_ was what his brother said as he smiled years earlier, holding him closely. Though Tsukishima knew what he really felt behind closed doors, how he felt about losing his powers so early, all for the sake of a club.

Tsukishima knew now that what Akiteru did was probably for his own good, they were reincarnated for a reason, probably, and he was destined to live out the rest of his days as a human. He was supposed to get attached, he was supposed to lose his powers anyway, but seeing the world for what it really was had caused him to have a minor setback. It was pathetic really, trying to hold on to their powers for as long as possible. But Akiteru wasn’t the pathetic one. Tsukishima knew that much.

What he also knew was that the loss of powers could be caused by a number of things, so Akiteru had told him, who had been told by a friend of a friend who apparently knew a creator. Whether these statements were true or not, he could only find out with experience. The loss of powers could possibly be caused by getting too attached (to objects and/or people, he wasn’t 100% sure), feeling strong human emotions (grief, love etc.), finding yourself under unbelievable stress or following a traumatic event.

There was also a possibility that he could show his powers to another human being with a single touch. Despite his efforts in trying with Akiteru, however, the ability to show his powers was an experiment that unfortunately failed. It may have been due to the fact that Akiteru wasn’t a human in a past life, either that or the whole idea was false to begin with, and he wasn’t about to go testing it out with another human.

A sharp poke in his side caused his vision to blur for a moment, before he was faced again with the science notes he had decided to ignore a few minutes earlier.

“Tsukki?”

“Huh, oh, yeah?”

“You’ve been completely out of it for about ten minutes. Did you hear me calling you?”

_Okay, so maybe my hearing zones out too. Alright, noted._

“No, I was just thinking. You didn’t have to poke me so hard though” he rubbed at his side.

“Sorry, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi called out in his usual manner. He really didn’t need to apologise all the time, but Tsukishima never stopped him either.

Yamaguchi sighed and rubbed his head, finally putting his pencil down in defeat a few moments later. Tsukishima hadn’t realised that he was staring until the freckled boy looked his way.

“What were you thinking about?”

“Ah, nothing. Do you want to take a break? I think we could use one”

“Yeah, sounds good” he stretched his arms up in relief, pushing his books away.

Tsukishima went towards the bed and laid down, taking his headphones with him. It was official now, he really needed to do something about his posture, feeling the way his back seemed to relax against the mattress.

Yamaguchi followed quickly after, resting his head on the pillow next to Tsukishima. He wasn’t sure how this had all started, but whenever they took a break, they tended to end up lying next to each other on the bed. This is what normal best friends do, right? They had been friends for years at this point, so maybe this could be their normal, and they were both happy with that.

“Did you find any good songs recently?”

“No, same old”

Yamaguchi let his eyelids close and his shoulders relax, they really were easily comfortable around each other. Tsukishima would never admit it out loud, but he liked being this close to Yamaguchi, close enough to see the rise and fall of his chest, watch his hair stick out in the most outrageous angles and hear him sigh into the room.

He suddenly felt Yamaguchi turn to his side to face him, “Are you okay, Tsukki? You’ve been a bit off lately, especially after the training camp”

Tsukishima gave him a puzzled look, “I’m fine. I guess I’ve just been thinking through things, what you said, and what Bokuto-san said”

“The captain from Fukurodani, right?”

“Yeah, that’s the one”

“What did he say?”

Tsukishima took a shallow breath, “He went off saying that I should go up against Ushijima”

Yamaguchi studied his expression, “And? What did you say to him?”

“I said ‘Why me?!’”

Yamaguchi laughed quietly, “Yeah, that sounds like you. Why not you, though? You’ve got the height”

Now it was Tsukishima’s turn to laugh, “I’d need to train a lot if I want to block spikes from that guy”

“We already train a lot though, I think you can do it” Yamaguchi smiled, turning around onto his back again.

Tsukishima stared at him in wonder, now that he had closed his eyes. Humans were strange, definitely strange. Where did all this faith come from? Why had Yamaguchi stayed with him after all this time? Did he think that if they tried hard enough, that they could beat Oikawa? That they could win against Ushijima and go to Tokyo?

Tsukishima watched his breaths slow gradually, asking himself that back then, if he had imagined that he would ever be reincarnated into a human, that he would be lying next to his best friend as they completely ignore the books they were supposed to be studying, smiling as they talk about what not long ago seemed to be impossible, watching him slowly fall asleep on his own bed.

He quickly snapped out of his gaze. _I shouldn’t be staring at him like that. I’m not supposed to like him that way. I’m not supposed to get attached, right?_

No, he had decided for himself after the events of the training camp that he should start living, well he would _try_ , really living. Maybe he wasn’t ready to let go of his powers yet, but living didn’t seem like the worst idea in the world right now, not while he had Yamaguchi by his side.

Living is a process, an art, it’s not something you can learn. It’s something you have to experience for yourself. Sure, it wasn’t going to be easy, and it would probably take him an entire lifetime to master it, but better late than never, he supposed.

“Wanna call it a night?”

Yamaguchi gave a hum of approval, before turning to face the window. Tsukishima smiled as he pulled on his headphones and hit play. Not many people saw Tsukishima’s genuine smiles, not even Yamaguchi, he was always looking the other way whenever Tsukishima decided to show them.

He closed his eyes for the final time that night, letting the familiar clusters of stars flood his field of view once again.

_Teach me to live, Yamaguchi. I wouldn’t mind living if it’s with you._


	2. Chapter 2

Waking up was not something that Tsukishima was very fond of. Maybe that was something he had in common with a lot of other humans, he thought. Getting up in the morning was just as daunting for other humans as it was for him. Morning people were something that Tsukishima truly could not comprehend. Waking up is a process. You can barely open your eyes, the slightest beam of light through the window can blind you, and sometimes you don’t even remember that you fell asleep in the first place.

His powers didn’t make things any easier, he’d quickly forget that he was reincarnated already, which had led to more than a few rude awakenings in the past. He thought that he could find some comfort in believing that he wasn’t a human yet, even if it was only for a few hours a night. However, he had found that it just left him with more remorse than what he began with. Sleeping sucked, and reduced productivity, but it was unfortunately necessary, and the fact that he could feel hands on him at this very moment was certainly not helping.

“ _Tsukki_ ”

_Yamaguchi? Why was Yamaguchi here? Oh, right, we were studying last night._

The hands stopped moving on his shoulder for a mere second, before they landed on his face.

“Oh, you left your glasses on all night”

That earned a groan from Tsukishima, as he felt his glasses being lifted from his face.

He could feel a shift in the bed, and he knew that Yamaguchi was relatively close.

“They’re not broken or anything, you don’t really move around when you sleep, thankfully”

“ _No, but you do_ ” he mumbled.

“Ah, sorry Tsukki!”

It’s not like he was mad at him for moving around a lot, it was just the way he had always slept. Yamaguchi had a tendency to cling to the closest thing in his proximity while sleeping. Sometimes it was a pillow, other times it was Tsukishima. He knew it, the whole volleyball team knew it. Yamaguchi… probably knew it.

“What day is it?”

“Saturday, it’s almost noon”

_Yamaguchi’s awake before me? Something really must be up with me this week._

Tsukishima sighed, trying to slip under the blanket more, a blanket that he never remembered pulling over himself last night.

“Hey, no more sleeping in! Your brother told me to call you”

_Oh, yeah, Akiteru was still here too. Then where did my parents go?_

“Tsukki, I didn’t know your eyesight was this bad”

Tsukishima’s eyes slowly opened. _Ah yes, my first time being a human and they give me broken eyes. What a lovely reminder._

He sat up, squinting at the figure sitting across from him. Yamaguchi had been kind enough to not open the blinds yet, or turn on the light.

Yamaguchi laughed quietly, “Morning, Tsukki, you managed to wake up before 12!”

“Why am I awake? And why are you laughing at me?” he frowned, attempting to rub the sleep from his eyes.

“Akiteru’s making breakfast. And your hair is standing up on one side. You’re full of questions today, Tsukki” he smiled, reaching over to pat down Tsukishima’s hair. He stilled at the touch. To be fair, it was something he wasn’t expecting, since Yamaguchi wasn’t really the kind to touch him (while they were both awake that is), not that he minded it if it did happen. Although, he wouldn’t let anyone else do it.

It was slowly beginning to dawn on Tsukishima that he wasn’t really the same person since the training camp ended. The mindset he had during volleyball practice was somewhat more motivated, hanging around Yamaguchi was a little different for him, and Akiteru was acting a bit stranger than usual towards him, more hopeful. This is probably a good thing, he assumed. On the other hand, the headaches were more frequent, his appetite was a mess, and his sleeping patterns probably had it in for him.

He knew very well the inevitability of this situation, the loss of his powers were painstakingly slowly closing in. But why now? Why the sudden changes? He was surely still too young to lose them this early.

“Mhmm, I just have one more question” he coughed.

“Yeah?”

“Actually, I have two”

“Go for it”

“Where did this blanket come from?” he asked, bunching up the soft fabric with his hands.

“Oh, I woke up in the middle of the night and you looked cold and I didn’t want to wake you so, uh, I just put it over you”

“Well, thank you, and why… why are you wearing my glasses?”

“Ah, I was just- trying them on, well no, I just wanted to-”

Tsukishima reached over to take them from him his face and slid them back on, realising too late just how close they were sitting together.

Yamaguchi rubbed the back of his neck, “Sorry, Tsukki” he said, a lot quieter this time.

Tsukishima tried to devise some sort of comeback, but his head suddenly felt way too heavy, and he was probably just sleep deprived, and Yamaguchi had looked way too good with his glasses on, and he probably should just back up a few centimetres, but he didn’t find himself moving an inch.

He shook his head slightly, “Shut up, Yamaguchi” before he finally rose from the bed to head to the door.

“You better come down, or my brother will eat everything” he turned the corner, waiting to hear the footsteps follow him down the hallway.

* * *

“Have a good rest last night?” Akiteru beamed, sitting down at the table.

Tsukishima yawned, “Not really”

“You stay up studying too late!”

“Then why isn’t Yamaguchi tired?” Tsukishima sighed, picking at his food.

“Yamaguchi could sleep through anything, right?” they both turned to Yamaguchi who just laughed awkwardly back at them.

“I have been worried lately though, especially since you’ve been eating less too, Tsukki” he pursed his lips.

“There’s no need to worry about me” he sighed.

Akiteru looked at him again as he paused to take a drink, “At least have some juice, I don’t want you coming down with something”

Tsukishima just nodded back, reaching for the carton at the same time as Yamaguchi, their hands brushing for a moment.

“Oh, sorry, I was gonna pour it for you, since I want some too” he smiled.

“I’ll do it, you’re the guest”

“Thanks, Tsukki”

Once the drinks had been poured, Akiteru had started washing the dishes, saying that their parents would be back soon enough from their errands. Tsukishima had managed to drink all the juice in his glass, despite not feeling well. He had noticed in the meantime that Yamaguchi had become very quiet, and had started unconsciously twitching his feet under the table. He gently settled his foot on top of Yamaguchi’s, causing him to look up from his daze.

“Are you okay? I thought I was supposed to be the one not feeling well today” he said, smiling lightly.

Yamaguchi nodded quickly, “Yeah, yeah I’m fine! I just… need to use the bathroom for a moment, excuse me!”

Tsukishima watched him leave the table, wondering just what he could possibly be thinking.

Akiteru leaned back from the sink to peer down the hallway before speaking in a hushed tone.

“It’s happening, isn’t it?”

Tsukishima turned to him, Akiteru was facing away, carrying on with the washing as normal.

“What is?”

“You’re losing them, aren’t you? Your powers”

Tsukishima swallowed, putting his glass down before holding his head in his hands.

“I’ve been getting headaches, so you could presume that, but that wouldn’t explain the lack of appetite or sleep, would it?”

“You’ve been over-working yourself lately, which might be triggering it. That’s the only thing I can think of. Either that, or it’s volleyball”

“I don’t think it’s volleyball”

Akiteru laughed, “Hey, I didn’t think it was volleyball either, but look how that turned out”, his smile faltered, “I didn’t push you too hard, did I?”

“No, don’t worry, I haven’t let volleyball affect me as much as I thought” he stood, passing his glass and what was left of the dishes from the table to Akiteru.

“I just don’t want you to forget too soon. I uh-” he paused, letting out a sigh. “I can’t remember creating the moon with you anymore”

Tsukishima stopped in his tracks, taking a brief glance down the hallway again.

“You can’t remember? At _all_?” he said breathlessly.

“I know that we did it together, but that’s all I know” he laughed again, turning the water off, “I don’t think mom and dad forgot this early”

“I don’t want that to happen to me. _Not yet_ ” Tsukishima whispered, grabbing Yamaguchi’s empty glass.

“I don’t want that to happen to you either, believe me”

“Can I tell you something?” he said, holding Yamaguchi’s glass tightly.

“Of course”

“Last night, I wanted to tell Yamaguchi”

“Tell him what?”

“Everything” he felt his face heat up.

“You can’t” Akiteru looked back at him, “He’ll remember what you told him probably for the rest of his life, but you’ll eventually forget everything. That situation just can’t end well. What if someone else found out, and, like, tried to dissect you or something?”

“What happened to that friend of a friend who told you all that stuff about creators, and how easy it is to lose yourself to human emotions?!”

“Well, that was my mistake now, wasn’t it? I’ve made quite a few of those, right? I just don’t want you to lose him as a friend, you don’t know how he’ll react. I want you to cherish the friends you have now, because in the next life, you won’t know him anymore, or me, or mom and dad” he sighed.

Then he realised how right Akiteru was, humans weren’t familiar with creators, and who knows what would happen to their family if the world knew. He thought of all the creators he had seen reincarnated who had claimed to be a god in front of international audiences, and that was probably not the best way to go about things.

“I don’t want to forget you, or Yamaguchi” he mumbled.

“Life can be cruel that way, huh?”

“Yeah, and I think I know what’s giving me headaches” he finally said, looking down at the glass once more before handing it to Akiteru.

“Alright, well do you still want to keep your powers for as long as possible?”

“Yes, very much so”

“Well you’d have to tone down whatever it is that’s causing them, or cut it out if possible, unless it’s volleyball, I haven’t seen you play a high school match yet!”

“Cut it _out_?” he turned away again, wondering what was taking Yamaguchi so long, “I can’t just cut it out”

“Hmm, why not?”

“Because I think I’m in- I’m”

“You’re what?” Akiteru turned around, looking puzzled at the way Tsukishima’s fists clenched, before they heard footsteps entering the room again.

“Ah, sorry for taking so long! I would have helped clean up” Yamaguchi burst in, wearing a different set of clothes than last night.

“It’s no problem, we’ve got it covered”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go change, okay?” Tsukishima said, walking past both of them and heading for his room.

“He’s having a rough week sleep wise” Akiteru smiled, watching him go.

“Yeah, I thought so, he’ll be okay though, right?” Yamaguchi pulled at the end of his sleeves.

“Oh, yeah! He’ll push through, he always does”

Tsukishima let himself fall on to the bed, covering his ears with his pillow. This headache was one of the worst he had gotten since this had begun. He breathed out heavily, wanting to just crawl back into bed for the rest of the day. He just wanted to make the pain stop, he just wanted to live with his powers and memory of them for a few more years.

He didn’t ask to be a human, he didn’t ask to be the way he is, and cutting Yamaguchi out of his life like that seemed like it could only do worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for not updating sooner! Everything started to pile up but I wanted to get this chapter out to get me back into writing this. I promise I'll post more frequently from now on! I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this chapter, but thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got a chance to update, and I hope to again over the weekend since I have some free time. I'm not even sure if I like this chapter or not, but I'm gonna post it before I end up changing my mind. Thank you so much for reading!

Much to Tsukishima’s annoyance, his ability to use his powers was becoming more limited as the days progressed. He could no longer use them for the entirety of his night’s sleep, meaning, that at a certain point during the night, he had to revert to regular human dreams. Sure, he could say that he could finally accept his humanity enough to motivate himself to commit to everyday life on earth, but delving into his subconscious to revive certain life experiences in the early hours of the morning was something he hadn’t quite adhered to yet.

Losing his powers was inevitable, as was losing his memories of it all, he had always known this. Waiting for those days to come was starting to become worse than the acts themselves. He had realised that this life was an endless waiting game; waiting for the school day to end, then subsequently waiting for practice to end, waiting for the weekend, for the next break from school to come.

This fact alone somewhat eased the burden of losing his powers, but that didn’t stop him from taking any chance to use them while he could, even if it meant using them while in the middle of volleyball practice. The calmness would easily flood over him, it was dark, the air felt cooler, and it was quiet- well, for the most part.

Unfortunately, the regular slamming of a volleyball followed by the squeaking of shoes on the hard floor was something he couldn’t drown out, despite his efforts. The headaches may have settled for the time being, but this irritation wasn’t being caused by ex-creator Tsukishima, this irritation was something that human Tsukishima devised all by himself.

_So loud._

“Okay, let’s do another one. Do it exactly as you did the first time”

“Right!”

The loud noises resumed as before, causing Tsukishima’s field of view to blur, until the back of his eyelids came into view once again. He let out a sigh, slowly opening his eyes to stare down the freak quick duo on the court.

“Oi, king, we’re supposed to be taking a break”

He could see Yamaguchi jolt at his sudden outburst from the corner of his eye.

“We still have five minutes for that, the third years haven’t come back yet” Hinata piped up.

“They went to meet a teacher, right?”

“Yeah, probably to sort out third year stuff, exams and all that” he replied to Kageyama, before heading back towards the line again, “One more!”

Tsukishima laid back against the wall, taking small sips from his water bottle. He noticed that Yamaguchi had settled back close to him again.

“Do you wanna go outside, Tsukki? It’s quieter there, and I don’t think it’s that cold…” Yamaguchi trailed off, turning his head to the door.

“No, it’s fine, I probably would have if you asked me five minutes ago though”

“Ah, sorry! I thought you were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you” he smiled slightly, scratching his head.

“I was just resting my eyes” he put his water bottle back down, “You’re not still worried about me, right?”

“Uh… well-”

“Tsukishima!” the libero’s voice cut in, pointing a finger, “Why would Yamaguchi have a need to worry?! You’ve been eating right lately, yes?”

“Of course, I’m just not sleeping well. But I’m fine, I promise”

“That better be the case! We all need to be at top condition for the spring tournament, right Ryuu?”

“Right, we can’t have you two shrivelling up on us!”

“Got that, Yamaguchi?!”

“Uh, yes!” he nodded quickly. While Yamaguchi had been speaking in hushed tones from the beginning, Tsukishima realised that he had continued their conversation with no volume control whatsoever.

While Nishinoya rejoined Tanaka and the second years, Tsukishima turned back to him.

“We should probably speak quietly from now on”

“Yeah, sounds good” Yamaguchi’s face fell, as if he was unsure.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Did you eat today?” he said quieter, ensuring no one else would hear. He even went as far as leaning closer. Tsukishima let out a sigh.

“A little” he shrugged. “You don’t have to be worried”

“I just don’t want you to pass out” he said, diverting his gaze to the floor.

Tsukishima’s face tensed as his eyes remained on Yamaguchi. Tsukishima wasn’t the only one not acting himself this week. Humans were hard to read sometimes, he had even experienced this with Akiteru in this life, but Yamaguchi was always someone he could understand. He was someone that understood him and why he was the way he was, even if he didn’t know the exact truth behind it.

He never liked to think about fate, and the theories people had constructed for years about everyone’s so called ‘destiny’. ‘Your fate lies within the stars’ they would say, a statement that Tsukishima scoffed at in the beginning, but it did make him wonder.

How could people even come up with things like that? Was this planned, or was there really infinite possibilities to the human imagination? Why did he create the stars and the moon with Akiteru, why would he spend the time to create the vast expansion of space? He did it because he was told to do it, from his superiors, but they still created something truly magnificent. At this point, he would be convinced that he had left all his motivation in his past life, if that was even possible.

Why did humans inherit this ability to think so deep, to feel so passionately? Was it decided that they would one day become the superior race to walk this planet, or was it because they started thinking for themselves? If it was fate that had brought them to this point in time, if it was fate that brought Yamaguchi to him all those years ago, then why did he bother to stick around with someone like Tsukishima?

Yamaguchi fidgeted with his own water bottle until Tsukishima’s hand was suddenly on his, catching him off guard. Yamaguchi stared at his hand until he turned his head abruptly, with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Why do you care so much?”

“…Huh?” he almost whispered, feeling Tsukishima’s hand linger on his. Tsukishima didn’t know exactly what he was trying to accomplish by doing that, but he couldn’t say that he regretted the feeling of his hand against the shorter boy’s. The only problem was that Yamaguchi was just staring wide eyed at him, not daring to move his hand. So, naturally, he stared back into the dark pair of eyes, wondering if he had silenced Yamaguchi for good.

_Please say something. Anything._

“Tsukki…”

A sudden clap caused him to blink and momentarily divert his gaze to the entrance, “Alright, back to practice, everyone up- Kageyama, Hinata! Did you guys even stop?!” Daichi’s voice rang through the court.

Yamaguchi felt the hand disappear from his as he turned his face back to Tsukishima for a mere second. He watched him stand up and extend his hand towards him.

“Let’s go, Yamaguchi”

He hesitated before reaching for his hand, allowing himself to be dragged up onto his feet. Tsukishima’s hand was gone as quick as it came, leaving Yamaguchi even more confused than before, and as much as he wanted that hand in his again, a volleyball was pushed into his hands in its place.

“…Let’s see more of those serves” Tsukishima mumbled.

“Uh, yes!” he nodded once, heading back to his usual spot on the court. Tsukishima’s sudden mood changes were unusual, he thought, but Akiteru said he would be fine. He’s just having one of those weeks, there’s really no reason for him to be this concerned, right? The hand touching was new, sure, but he secretly hoped that those weren’t just a phase either.

Tsukishima was being so close yet so distant all at once, and it was probably something that he should talk to him about, but maybe this wasn’t the right time. On the other hand however, if he waited until Tsukishima was back to himself again, then this entire situation wouldn’t even be relevant to discuss. He was stuck at a standstill, and he knew that taking a step forward could be a make it or break it moment.

Yamaguchi exhaled slowly, gripping the volleyball tighter, before throwing it up and hitting it forward as he jumped. He knew immediately as his hand left the ball that it was a bad serve. He let out a sigh as he watched the ball hit the net and fall to the floor. As he retrieved it, he noticed Tsukishima glance at him from the other side of the court, before turning around again to the ball of life that was Hinata, who would probably swallow all of the competition one day and actually become the ace.

“Hey, Tsukishima, you’re really out of it today!”

Yeah, it was definitely just one of those weeks.

* * *

“Do you have practice with Shimada-san again today?”

They walked side by side as they left the school, behind the rest of the team as they all began to go their separate ways. Despite the strenuous practice they had all just lived through, the rest of the team were surprisingly full of energy, and as loud as ever. Hinata’s stamina truly had no bounds.

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi trailed along behind them, the distance growing more and more each minute. They were both physically exhausted, and Tsukishima was probably mentally drained as well, not that he would admit it to himself. He could feel the slow onset of a headache again, and he wasn’t sure if it was the tiredness, or his powers, or something completely different altogether. It might have been a horrible combination of all three.

“Nope, not today, thankfully” he smiled slightly.

“Good, you look tired”

“Me? Have you taken a look at yourself, Tsukki?” he said light-heartedly, “Maybe you finally get a good night’s sleep now”

Tsukishima snickered, “That would be nice”

They watched the rest of the team continue on straight ahead, engrossed in a very animated conversation about how they would make it to nationals, before they were out of sight. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi made a right turn, going down the road they walked together every day, after school and practice.

“It’s a nice evening,” Yamaguchi spoke again.

“Yeah, it’s warm”

They settled into a brief awkward silence, where all that could be heard was their shallow breathing and feet hitting the pavement. It was the most peaceful moment that Tsukishima had had all day, but there was an uneasiness in him, and it wasn’t going away.

“Uh-” they both said simultaneously, before looking at each other.

“Oh, you first” he laughed, avoiding Tsukishima’s gaze.

“Um, well it’s just-” he paused, repeating the words in his head, “I guess something _has_ been bugging me recently”

Yamaguchi’s pace slowed, before looking up at him in wonder, “Oh?”

Tsukishima looked back at him, knowing that Yamaguchi was probably jumping to conclusions already, which would only cause him to worry more.

“Before you say anything, I’m fine, really, I think” his voice went quieter, “This is harder than I thought it would be”

_You can’t. What if someone else found out._

Akiteru’s words surfaced in his mind again, making him lose his train of thought completely. For a second, he felt nostalgic, considering that that was the way Akiteru communicated with him when they were creators. The upside of being reincarnated with a human mind meant that he could finally just hear his own voice in his head, but that was also the downside. When you’ve spent a few billion years hearing voices in your head, it makes the human mind that much lonelier.

“You don’t have only six months to live, do you?”

That earned a laugh from Tsukishima. _There you go again, making him worry._

“It’s nothing like that, I promise.”

“Good, I’d miss you too much” his smile faltered. The smile faded from Tsukishima’s face. Not a lot of people had ever said to him that they’d miss him if he was gone. The only other time that he could think of was when Akiteru was just about to be reincarnated, and it wasn’t exactly in the form of ‘I’d miss you’, considering that human emotions were something of which they were wholly unfamiliar. They’d be near Yamaguchi’s house in roughly ten minutes, so if he was going to do this, he’d have to get a move on.

“I’m not exactly supposed to tell you this” _Bad, bad, bad move._

“Wh-what do you mean? Is it the team? Has someone said something?”

“No, no, it’s not like that. It’s- It’s _us_ ” he winced at his choice of words. He was totally out of his element. Tsukishima has always been the one thinking straight, it had even become useful for volleyball.

“ _Us?_ ”

“Well not us exactly, it’s me” _Good going, Kei. You sound like you’re breaking up with a guy you’ve never even dated._

“What? I don’t…”

_You still want to keep your powers for as long as possible? Tone down whatever it is. Cut it out._

_Cut it out?_

_I can’t just cut it out._

Tsukishima stopped and held his head in his hands. _Why won’t the pain stop? Make it stop._

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t… live like this. I thought I could do it, but I _can’t_ ”

“…Tsukki?” Yamaguchi’s hand neared closer to him, but was pulled back a moment later, “You can tell me”.

What was he even planning to say to Yamaguchi in the first place? Was he going to tell him about his powers, was he going to tell him about his feelings? More importantly, what had Yamaguchi wanted to say to him? _You should have just let him speak first._

“My head hurts, and I can’t eat, or sleep, or think straight… and I think I understand now”

Well, his head was hurting for power reasons, he had figured that out first.

“Okay, uh, and you understand that…?”

“We can’t do this anymore” he lowered his hands. _This is the only way to make the pain stop, surely._

“Huh, what are you saying?” Yamaguchi’s expression changed completely.

“I can’t- I can’t be around you anymore”

Yamaguchi almost thought he was joking for a second, “I don’t understand… Why?”

_Because I’m in love with you, and have been for quite some time now, even if I didn’t know myself. I don’t fully understand human emotions, no one in my family does, we never did. Yamaguchi’s soul has probably been reincarnated many times now. He more than likely has had many previous human lives. That’s why he cares so much, why he has always felt so deeply. He was surely one of the purest humans he had ever encountered._

“Because we’re not alike, you and I. You’re better off without someone like me”

Yamaguchi clenched his fist. “Don’t. Don’t say that to me. Not you too”

Tsukishima watched his face sadden. “But it’s true”

“It’s _not._ You think I haven’t heard that one before? _None_ of them understand. You don’t get it”

“It’s not a matter of how much I understand it or not. I just can’t even bear it”

“Bear what?!”

His head pulsed in pain, “To stand next to you anymore!”

Yamaguchi’s fist loosened, his eyes facing the ground, “Ah, I see”

Tsukishima stiffened at the sudden quietness, “I didn’t mean that like- as in”

“I know what way you meant it. It doesn’t explain your behaviour this week, but I get it. Is that why you asked me why I cared so much? You know, if you wanted me to leave, all you had to do was say so.” he turned away from him, as he started walking again.

“Yamaguchi, wait! You don’t- You’ve got the wrong idea!” he followed after him.

“Don’t! Just let me- just _don’t_ ” his voice cracked as he walked faster around the corner, leaving Tsukishima standing in the path.

He could probably text him when he got home, either that or speak to him in the morning and clear things up. He should probably tell him what’s really going on, no matter what the consequences he may face. For now, however, all he could really do for Yamaguchi was give him some space to cool off, because Tsukishima could definitely use some too.

The headache hadn’t stopped, and it wasn’t the only thing hurting right now. If only he had known the creator who invented pain. As he began walking slowly, he figured that he probably shouldn’t have conversations like these when he had a headache coming on, as he couldn’t think straight. He also felt like he had much less of a filter in this condition, and that some things are best left unsaid.


	4. Chapter 4

Tsukishima was certain about a lot things when he returned home that evening. One of the main things was that he had messed up, and stupendously at that. He honestly hadn’t meant to hurt Yamaguchi like this. If he really thought about it, Yamaguchi was one of the only people who he could call a friend, and why he had stuck around all these years unconditionally still remained a mystery to him.

Though, Yamaguchi had someone he could call a friend too, and having each other’s company was essentially everything they could ever ask for. Their situation has always been a win-win, until, you know, you lose. He reckoned that there was probably no better way to mess up than he did, he had taken the situation and made it worse, and somehow brought it to rock bottom in the end.

Yamaguchi was more than likely still mad at him, his headaches had managed to become more painful, his powers were disintegrating at an alarming rate, and he still hadn’t told Yamaguchi about how he felt, or what he was, or why he was acting that way. Ex-creators everywhere would probably marvel at how tremendously he had ruined everything in less than two minutes.

After changing out of his uniform and a brutal half hour of assessing the possibilities, he had come to a decision. He would tell him tomorrow, after school, he would make that happen somehow. It was a risky situation that could go either way, which is why Tsukishima never liked taking risks. But if he was really committed to trying to live and be a better human, this seemed like a plausible plan.

Yamaguchi would either be totally on board and everything would go back to normal, or he would run away and tell the world about his so called crazy, extra-terrestrial best friend. What was the worst that could happen?

Upon rethinking his full-proof plan, he realised that this was a terrible idea.

He sunk down onto the bed, specifically on the part that would be ‘Yamaguchi’s side’, if he were here. He didn’t dare look towards the pile of homework that awaited him near his desk. It would have to wait until he could clear his head for some time where he could finally think straight. Thanks to the late volleyball practice, the hours of the day were quickly slipping through his fingers, and the moon began to linger into his view from the window, taunting him.

He frowned, “I’ll get my homework done, just give me a minute”, and he turned the other way, letting out a deep breath. He began to think of all the late night study sessions with Yamaguchi that always led to them falling asleep together on his bed, that morning where he woke up with a blanket wrapped around him, and Yamaguchi wearing his glasses as he laughed at Tsukishima’s bed head, the feeling of his hand smoothing down his hair. He swore he could feel his heart swelling in his chest, and Tsukishima presumed that this is what it meant to ‘have it bad for someone’.

Surprisingly enough, Yamaguchi was always warm, even if he was a clinger, though he wasn’t loud, and he had the ability to calm those around him without really trying. Yamaguchi was constantly on his mind lately, always needing him close by. Tsukishima probably would have gone crazy over these last few weeks without him. It also helped to justify why he felt a little crazy right this minute, because he wasn’t here. Talking back to the moon wasn’t a regular occurrence for him, nor was neglecting his studies.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel, he guessed. Rock bottom turned out to be a great place for thinking, and since it couldn’t get any worse from here, things would surely get better. Hopefully.

The first step in his plan was to call for backup, a second opinion shouldn’t go down to badly in situations like this. From here on, it was better to keep it simple and to the point.

“I messed up” his voice mumbled into the phone, awaiting a response from the other end of the line.

“What? What happened?” Akiteru piped up.

“Remember when you said- wait, do you remember?”

“Remember what?”

“ _You know_ , our past lives, also the conversation we had the other day?”

“Oh _that_ , well, the fact that we were creators, yes, I’m a bit fuzzy on the details though, and yeah, I remember the conversation” he said noticeably quieter.

“Alright, well remember when I said I knew how to get rid of the headaches, and you said to try and cut it out of my life?”

“Yes”

“Well, now I still have headaches, and one less best friend”

There was silence for a moment before he heard a slight intake of breath on the other end.

“Oh”

“Yeah”

“And by best friend you mean?”

“Yamaguchi”

“Wait, what?!”

“Why are you so surprised? How many best friends do you think I have?!”

“When you said you could fix the problem, I thought you meant you were going to study less, or something!”

Tsukishima side eyed the stack of books waiting for him at his desk and frowned.

“I don’t need to study that much to maintain good grades!”

“You never come out of your room though!”

“I have my… reasons”

Akiteru sighed into the phone, “What happened with Yamaguchi?”

Tsukishima paused, “I, uh, kind of told him that I couldn’t bear to stand next to him anymore”

“Why did you do that?!”

“I had a really bad headache and I realised that he was causing it” he tugged at the colour of his shirt.

“What? What did he do?”

“I tried to tell you the other day but he walked in on us”

“And what was it?” he said, concerned.

“That I like him, and that’s why my powers are fading” his voice lowered.

A silence grew between them again, Tsukishima figured that Akiteru was probably thinking, but after five seconds of silence then the connection also could have been cut.

“Nii-chan?”

“Kei”

“Yeah?”

“Did you just come out to me?”

“Maybe?” he said, after a moment’s thought.

“Kei, are you actually coming to me for dating advice?!”

“Why do you sound so happy about it?! And we’re not dating, I don’t even know if we’re friends anymore”

“Aw Kei, you really aren’t cute at all! Have you apologised, at least?”

“I was waiting until tomorrow. I figured that this was a cooling off period”

“Oh, I see. Well, then you should apologise to him tomorrow”

“Okay”

“And tell him how you feel”

“Yeah, that’s the plan. What if he hates me though? I mean, wouldn’t doing that just fuel the fire then?”

“Well, we’ve both known Yamaguchi for a long time now. I find it really hard to picture him hating you. Besides, we all know how you can get sometimes”

“ _Hey-_ ”

“What I mean is that you guys can patch things up! I’m not even worried, because I know you can do it. Yamaguchi helps in making you more human, and I know he makes you happy too, so you can’t just let this one go, okay?”

“Right” he smiled for the first time since his conversation with Yamaguchi earlier. Calling Akiteru had been a successful first step.

“Oh, and Kei?”

“Yeah? I’m still here”

“I mean, there’s no easy way to say this, but I feel like I’ll have forgotten everything about us being creators by the next time I see you. And I just wanted to thank you”

“Thank me?” he said, taken aback.

“Yeah” he laughed quietly, “You know, for all the time we spent together back then, it was a pain waiting for you to be reincarnated, and it was even scarier knowing that I was going to earth first. At one point, I doubted that you’d even follow me here, but you did, after seven or so years. That’s a long time to go without seeing you, especially since it was my first time not having you in my presence”

“Yeah, time does seem to go much slower when you’re human. I did try to get to you, but they wouldn’t let me, they kept saying that it wasn’t my time yet. I watched over you instead though, they wouldn’t allow me to do anything else”

“Thanks Kei, really, for looking out for me”

“It’s not a big deal or anything, _really._ It’s the same thing you’re doing for me right now”

“Right, I guess it is!” he sighed, “I wonder where those other superiors of ours are now”

“Probably still up there being as blunt as ever until all the creators have been reincarnated”

That earned a laugh from Akiteru, “You’re probably right, it makes you think”

“Yeah”

Tsukishima heard faint shuffling in his ear until Akiteru spoke again, “Uh oh, I better go, okay? The walls have ears, and all”

“Oh, okay. I can still practice with you and your team next week, right?”

“Of course! I’ll be waiting! See you then”

“See you”

As he hung up the phone, Tsukishima’s eyes darted towards his desk again, doing his homework was his only option now, considering his go for broke plan was being executed tomorrow. His headache had died down considerably, although it still lingered. He watched as the moonlight hovered on the wall opposite him, near where his volleyball jersey was hung.

_Good one,_ he thought, as he rose from the bed to head for the pile of books.

* * *

Music blared louder than usual into Tsukishima’s ears at lunch the next day in school. His headphones could easily block out the world and he could forget about everything stressing him in an instant. It was also quite helpful in that nobody would come over to bother him or try to chat him up. He had buried his head in his crossed arms on the desk in an attempt to calm down his headache, but to no avail.

He had tried to use his powers again for a little while, just to calm himself down at least, but after a few minutes they would blur and cut off in random places, similar to that of a television after losing satellite signal. Everything would go blank again for him then, until he was left with the view of noise that came from staring at the back of your eyelids.

With a sigh, he decided that he could try and nap until the end of lunch, considering that his ‘full-proof plan’ had had a major setback. Yamaguchi hadn’t shown up at school, and it was all his fault. He knew he shouldn’t have averted to sulking and ruminating again, but the universe seemed to be against him this week, and his lack of sleep due to worsened headaches was starting to get out of his control.

He felt a hand gently shake his shoulder and he shot up, a bit too quickly, before scowling at the sight before him. He rubbed a hand across his forehead before removing his headphones.

“ _I told you we shouldn’t have bothered him_ ” Kageyama mumbled to Hinata.

“I just wanted to ask him something!”

“What do you want?” he sighed, pushing up his glasses to rub at his eyes.

“We were gonna ask you for some help with our homework again since Yachi was busy and-”

“ _And_ we clearly see he’s not up for it so we’ll be going now” Kageyama pulled at the shorter boy’s sleeve.

“Huh? Is something wrong?” Hinata said, a look of wonder in his face.

Once Tsukishima realised he was looking at him, he answered back, “No, nothing’s wrong. I just thought you were Yamaguchi, at first”

“Hmm” he turned around, Kageyama followed his gaze, “Where is he?”

Tsukishima shrugged his shoulders, “Don’t know”

“What? Did he not come in today?”

“Nope”

“Is he sick?” he grasped onto the edges of his book, “He seemed fine yesterday”

_Huh. Maybe that’s it, maybe Yamaguchi finally got sick of me._

“Uh, I’m not sure”

“ _Hinata_ ”

He turned for a second, “Alright, I’m coming, hold on, Kageyama. Did you text him?”

“No, actually” Tsukishima looked away.

“What if something happened at home? Do you want me to text him?”

“It’s alright. I will”

“Okay, well, see you at practice tomorrow?”

“Yeah”

“Okay” Hinata barely managed to get out as Kageyama proceeded to drag him out of the class. Tsukishima smirked at how ridiculous they looked, but also noticed other people in his class watching him as well, before quickly averting their gazes. Did he really look so upset that even Kageyama wanted to run for the hills?

He took out his phone and sent a quick ‘Where are you?’ to Yamaguchi. He pulled on his headphones again and settled back into his previous position at his desk. It wasn’t like he was in any mood to eat at this point anyway, so he chose to watch time and space blur and crack before his eyes instead. It wouldn’t be long before the privilege of having even this much power left would be gone.

* * *

Tsukishima found himself alone in the classroom at the end of the day when he returned form the bathroom, not feeling any better than he did during lunch. The only upside was that it was finally completely quiet. He took his time packing away his things to go home when he decided to check his phone again, but there were no new messages, as expected. The shred of hope he had been carrying with him all day had been a let-down, which made him even angrier with himself.

_Was Yamaguchi really that mad?_ _Have I really blown it all for good this time?_

He took a deep breath before pulling his bag over his shoulder, at least he didn’t have volleyball practice today. He realised he had never been to practice before without Yamaguchi, and he didn’t want to start now. Tomorrow, however, would probably be a different story, if Yamaguchi was absent for two days. There was a first time for everything, he thought, life on earth was just overflowing with firsts.

When someone entered the classroom, he decided that he should probably head out, since he was just killing time at this stage. He was sure that he was just trying to delay the process of walking home alone. He took a quick glance at the figure stood at the desk on his way out.

“Yamaguchi?” he stopped abruptly. Yamaguchi was wearing a t-shirt and regular pants that you’d wear around the house, as he grabbed some books from under his desk. He looked up suddenly, looking just as shocked as the other.

“Ah, Tsukki… I-I didn’t even notice you were still here, sorry” he lowered his head, gripping his books tighter in his arms.

“What are you doing here?” he looked at him, confused, “Did you get my text?”

“Uh, I did, and I know I should have replied and I’m sorry but-”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to keep apologising” he pushed up his glasses. Even though not getting a reply was something Tsukishima was upset about earlier, Yamaguchi had probably apologised enough to him for a whole lifetime. If anything, he was the one that needed to be apologising right now.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he watched Yamaguchi gather his thoughts. He was certainly more jittery than usual, and anyone that saw Yamaguchi in this state, other than Tsukishima, would presume that Yamaguchi had come down with some sort of fever.

“My mom called the school, you see, saying that I wasn’t up for school today” he scratched the back of his neck, “and they said I could come in after hours and get any books I might need for homework tonight”

“So you’ll be coming in tomorrow then?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll feel a little better by then.” he murmured.

Tsukishima frowned, suddenly feeling responsible for the way Yamaguchi was acting, “I see.”

An awful silence swept over them both, neither not knowing what to say or do. They were normally used to enjoying each other’s company in silence, but this kind was a first between them, and it was something that Tsukishima never wanted to experience again.

“I guess I’ll be going then, uh-”

“Wait” he grabbed Yamaguchi’s arm on instinct, causing him to drop his books on the floor.

“Ah, sorry… let me get those for you” he said, bending down to pick them up hastily. He turned to Yamaguchi, who was clutching his head with one hand.

“Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah, I just kind of blacked out for a second there. Oh, let me-”

“I’ll carry them for you, it’s fine. Did you walk here yourself?”

Yamaguchi nodded as they exited the classroom. He rubbed the side of his arm as they walked, and he seemed to be avoiding eye contact at all costs.

“You shouldn’t have come alone. I’ll walk you over”

“Oh, no, you really don’t have to, I’ll be okay”

“It’s not a big deal, I’m going that way anyway”

“Are you sure that you’d want to? I-I mean…”

“Why would I not?” Tsukishima gazed at him, watching Yamaguchi divert his eyes away.

“I thought that you- well, it’s nothing”

Tsukishima could tell that his sentence was probably going in the direction of ‘I thought that you didn’t want to be near me anymore’ or ‘I thought that you couldn’t stand me’. He figured that he had to tell Yamaguchi everything now, or else he never would.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I can tell you that it’s not true”

“Huh? W-what?”

“I have a lot that I want to tell you, and I also want to apologise for yesterday” Now Tsukishima was the one not making eye contact.

“Huh?” he felt Yamaguchi look up at him for the first time since he arrived.

“I wasn’t myself yesterday, but I still shouldn’t have said that to you, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it when I said it, which is why that I have a lot to tell you. I want you to understand”

They were outside of the school at this point, and they made their way down the slope. Yamaguchi was thankful for the slight breeze that blew, whereas Tsukishima was just happy to have peace and calmness for the first time today. The mere presence of Yamaguchi was enough to keep him calm, yet his headache was strangely softening, unlike yesterday.

“Understand what?”

“Why I’ve been acting strange lately, it’s not your fault, I promise”

“But-”

“But what?”

“I thought you were mad at me…” he exhaled.

“Me? No, I’m not mad at all. I thought it was the other way around”

“Oh, no, I was upset but I don’t think I could stay mad at you”

“I’m sorry”

“It’s okay”

Tsukishima wasn’t going to let another awkward silence form between them, so he spoke the first thing that came to his mind.

“We can do the homework together at my place, well, if you want to”

“Oh, alright. Can I use your phone to tell my mom when we get there?”

“Sure”

“Hey, what was it that you wanted to tell me?”

Tsukishima looked around subtly, “I’ll tell you when we get there”

Yamaguchi looked worried, “Why? Did something happen?”

Tsukishima laughed, “It’s nothing bad, really. It’s just hard to talk about. I’ve only ever really talked to my brother about it. He probably won’t like me telling you”

“Y-you don’t have to tell me, if it’s that serious”

“I want to though, I’ve wanted to for a while now”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure about something” he said as they got to his house. Tsukishima could tell that the mood had been lifted, even if it was just slightly, but it had made all the difference.

“I’m home”

“Sorry for the intrusion”

Tsukishima put down the books and his bag as they took off their shoes.

“Are your parents home?”

“They should be. I want to bring you out back first though”

“Out back-” he questioned, as Tsukishima grabbed his wrist and led him outside, heading down the hallways as fast as he could. The nervousness was unexpectedly setting in for him, and for a second, he wasn’t sure if he could do this or not, but he elected to not think about it. That hadn’t done him any favours the day before.

“Tsukki?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are we going outside?”

“I don’t want my parents to hear” he said as they finally set foot out the back.

“Oh?”

“My brother and I talk a lot out here, and I didn’t want to do it inside, with my parents lurking around and all”

“Oh, I see” he sat down next to Tsukishima, setting his hands down on his lap.

Tsukishima took one more look over his shoulder, just to be sure, finding the right words was gonna be somewhat of a challenge for him.

Yamaguchi was looking at him again, waiting for him to say something, anything to settle is nerves.

“Well, you’ve obviously noticed that I’ve been acting a bit strange this week”

Yamaguchi hummed in approval, fidgeting with his thumbs.

“It’s because I’ve had these really bad headaches, and because of them I‘ve been having trouble sleeping. I was eating less too but I think that’s because I was so stressed about the other too”

“Oh” he replied under his breath.

“And I’ve been having these headaches because of, uh, my past life”

Yamaguchi gave him a confused look, “What do you mean?”

Tsukishima inhaled quickly “You know how people believe in reincarnation and past lives?”

“Uh, yeah, I suppose”

“Well, I can remember what I was in my past life, because I was a creator”

“A creator…?”

“Yeah, of the universe”

The look he got from Yamaguchi was something he had been waiting for, he knew that this was going to be way harder than he thought.

“I know how crazy it sounds, but it’s true”

“Are you saying you’re a god, or were?” he whispered.

“No, not at all, I just created the moon and the stars, I don’t even know if there is a god. I just did as I was told. I, uh, obviously wasn’t in this form though”

That seemed to confuse Yamaguchi even more, who couldn’t find any words in reply.

“Y-you created them? As in, the actual…?”

“Yeah, with my brother, he was there too. My parents were our superiors up there. We all just happened to reincarnate into this family”

Tsukishima smiled at his reaction, “I know how it sounds”

“It sounds a little crazy” Yamaguchi smiled back.

“Yeah, I thought you might say that”

“Why did we have to do it out here though?”

“Well, my parents have forgotten their past lives since they’ve been on earth longer, and my brother is slowly losing the memory of his too”

“And you?”

“I haven’t forgotten anything yet, but I have these lovely headaches instead” he sighed.

“Oh, so that’s why you?”

“Well, I have headaches because my powers are fading”

Yamaguchi’s face muddled again, “Your… _powers?_ ”

“For the entire time I’ve been on earth, I’ve been able to close my eyes and view space as I’ve created it, as if it was right before me. It’s more like an illusion though. I don’t even have to close my eyes to do it really”

“Are you doing it now?” Yamaguchi laughed lightly.

Tsukishima paused for a moment, “I am _now_ ”

“Okay, how many fingers am I holding up?”

Tsukishima let out a laugh, “I don’t know, I can’t see your hand”

“Huh, really?”

“All I can see is space, which is weird, since it’s not deteriorating like it should be. It was pretty bad this morning. Are you waving your hand in front of me?”

“Yeah?”

“I can feel the wind on my face” he heard Yamaguchi’s laugh fade.

“Can you still hear me?”

“Obviously- wait why did you move? You’re on my left now”

“That’s so weird, your eyes aren’t even moving, and you’re not blinking either”

“You know I wouldn’t lie to you” he smiled again.

“I know” he laughed. “Can you still feel things?”

“If you mean if I can feel you touching my shoulder, then yes, I can”

“What can you see?”

“Cassiopeia”

“What’s that?” he heard Yamaguchi sit down next to him again, a little closer this time.

“It’s my favourite constellation, it’s opposite the Big Dipper, if only I had convinced my brother to move it closer”

“Oh! I’ve heard of the Big Dipper”

“Ah good, you’re welcome then”

“You made it?”

“Mhmm, along with Orion, unfortunately”

“Unfortunately?!”

Tsukishima sighed, “Why are people so obsessed with Orion? Cassiopeia is way more interesting”

“Did you make that one too?”

“Uh, no… my brother did. It’s clearly far superior, you can see all seven stars with the naked eye”

Tsukishima heard Yamaguchi laugh at him and he couldn’t help but smile back. He brought his regular vision back into view, and squinted at the floor.

“Oh, Tsukki, your eyes are red”

“Yeah, I just remembered why I don’t do this with my eyes open, and it’s weird that you actually believe me” he rubbed at his eyes.

“Well, even if it wasn’t true, it was hilarious to play along” Yamaguchi leaned forward.

“It’s on your arm, you know” Tsukishima turned to face him.

“Hmm? What is?” Yamaguchi inspected his arm.

“Cassiopeia, in all her glory”

“ _Her_ glory?”

“Yeah, well sometimes people see it as the crown of the Egyptian queen Cassiopeia, hence the name”

“Oh, well show me then”

“Here” he traced his fingers along the freckles on Yamaguchi’s skin, until he jerked his arm away.

“Oh, I’m sorry-”

“What was that?” he whispered.

“What was what?”

“Did you not see it? That blackout again… like the one at school” he covered his eyes.

All the blood seemed to run from Tsukishima’s face. _This can’t possibly be happening right now._

“Wait, uh, can I?” Tsukishima held out his hand in front of Yamaguchi, watching him nod.

He gently wrapped his fingers around Yamaguchi’s wrist, holding them in place for a second, before he heard Yamaguchi gasp. He quickly let go, watching as Yamaguchi stared back at his hand.

“Yamaguchi” he said quietly.

“How did you do that?”

“Did you- did you actually see something?”

Yamaguchi nodded again, sitting back up straight, “I saw like, a night sky, or something” his breath shuddered, “Why didn’t you show me this?”

“This- this _isn’t_ supposed to happen” Tsukishima breathed, “Well, there were rumours going around but, it’s never worked for me before. I tried doing it with Akiteru but it didn’t work, so I presumed it was because he wasn’t human in his past life” he stared down at his hand again.

“Try again then” Yamaguchi took his hand and turned to face him, a look of determination in his face.

“What? Are you sure?”

“Yes”

Tsukishima took a deep breath and tried again, filling his vision with Cassiopeia once more, he couldn’t see Yamaguchi anymore. He left his eyes open again, figuring that that might be the trick. He hoped that Yamaguchi couldn’t tell how shaky he was.

“Anything?”

“Nothing, hold on, give me your other hand” he felt Yamaguchi’s breath come closer to him, and their knees brush against each other.

“I’ll try it with my eyes closed this time” he whispered back, barely able to breathe normally as he held Yamaguchi’s hand tighter. After waiting a moment, he was convinced it wasn’t working, and he had never been so disappointed to see Cassiopeia. Yamaguchi squeezed his hand.

“Tsukki” he heard, the quietest Yamaguchi had been all day.

“Ah, I just can’t get, it isn’t working” he frowned.

“I think it is”

“What?”

“Open your eyes”

Tsukishima sighed, slowly opening his eyes that hadn’t quite yet recovered from his viewing earlier.

His mouth dropped open at the sight, “Yamaguchi”

“Yeah?”

“I can see you”

“I can see you too”

“But I can also see Cassiopeia behind you” he whispered again.

Yamaguchi beamed back at him, “I can see the Big Dipper behind _you_ ”

“This is… crazy”

“I know. Are you sure I’m not dreaming this?”

“Oh, this is definitely real life. I just can’t believe you can see this”

“I have no choice but to believe you now”

Tsukishima smiled back, “You can’t tell anyone about what I told you today though”

“Oh, I would never”

“Yeah, I trust you, that’s why I told you”

Yamaguchi’s cheeks blushed faintly, “Hey, can I see Cassiopeia?”

“Oh sure. We must be sitting near the North Star, so all I’ve gotta do is turn this around”

“Wait, you can move them?!”

“Yeah, I’m like Google Earth, but better”

Yamaguchi watched Tsukishima’s eyes move, seemingly with intense concentration, and suddenly he felt as if his whole world was spinning.

“They’re _moving_ ” he gasped, as he ducked his head onto Tsukishima’s shoulder.

“Woah, are you alright?” Tsukishima asked.

“I’m fine, just a little dizzy, keep going though, keep going”

“I can see the Big Dipper now, so you should be able to see Cassiopeia behind me, hey, Yamaguchi?”

“Tsukki, why didn’t you tell me not to look down?” he whined against his shoulder.

“I’m used to this, and hey, we’re still in my back yard remember, though, our pants are probably getting dirty as we’re sitting on the ground. But don’t worry, I’ve got you, okay?”

“Okay, I’ll open my eyes again now, where am I looking?”

“You can look right over my shoulder, just tilt your head up”

Yamaguchi moved his head up, so their faces were that much closer together. Tsukishima looked the other way, the only other time he had been this close to Yamaguchi was when he woke up in bed occasionally to find that Yamaguchi had clung to him during the night.

“How many stars again?”

“Seven”

“I can see five”

“Yeah, the other two aren’t as noticeable but they’re near the end, and parallel to each other”

“Ah!” he replied a moment later, “I see them. It’s lovely”

“Yeah, it is”

“I hope you complimented your brother on his hard work”

Tsukishima laughed again, “Oh believe me, I did”. He never would have dreamed that this was actually happening, the whole situation had felt so surreal.

“Tsukki, you have to show me Orion now”

“No”

“Tsukki!”

“It’s terrible”

“ _Please?_ ”

Tsukishima sighed, “ _Fine._ Close your eyes, I have to turn around to Big Dipper again”

Yamaguchi sank his face back down onto Tsukishima’s shoulder, he was so close that he could smell Yamaguchi’s hair. He could feel his hands beginning to sweat, but Yamaguchi didn’t hold them any looser.

“I can’t bear to look, so off you go” he groaned.

“Let me see!” Yamaguchi perked up, “Ah, it’s so cool”

Tsukishima scoffed, “ _It’s ridiculous_ ”

“But it’s so detailed, it’s like a warrior”

“An abomination is what it is. I’d take Big Dipper over it any day”

Yamaguchi turned and laughed into Tsukishima’s neck, “Tsukki, this is amazing” he sighed, “Terrifying, but amazing”

“I’m surprised it’s still going for us, today it kept cutting off for me after five minutes”

“Hmm. Maybe Orion likes me better”

“I wouldn’t blame it, to be honest, you should have seen the way the moon was taunting me last night through my window”

“You’re really gonna lose the ability to do this?”

Tsukishima sighed, “Yeah, it sucks, it really helps to calm me down too, it’s like I’m back up there again, you know?”

“Yeah, I understand”

“I’m glad I could show you this”

“Me too. I’ll never forget it”

They found themselves sitting in silence again, but Tsukishima let it slide this time. Yamaguchi wasn’t letting go of him, and he felt warm, and Yamaguchi could probably feel his heart practically beating through his chest, but he didn’t care. He had his best friend back, and Cassiopeia glowing in the distance, it was a moment that he wished he could cherish forever. However, with the loss of his powers meaning the loss of his memory, he was going to forget this ever happened very soon.

He let his head fall onto Yamaguchi’s shoulder, before letting out a sniffle.

Yamaguchi moved at the sound, “Tsukki, are you crying?! Are you okay?” he shot up.

Tsukishima laughed quietly, “Now you know what Cassiopeia does to me”

It was more like, _I don’t ever want to forget this moment, but I know I will, and that makes me sad._

Yamaguchi smiled up at him, “Tsukki, if only you teared up like that every time you see a girl you like”

Tsukishima froze for a second, “Oh, there was another thing I was supposed to tell you today”

“Hmm?” Yamaguchi hummed, Tsukishima glanced over at him before realising that their faces were too close, he quickly averted his gaze away and swallowed. He felt a tear roll down his cheek but he didn’t have the heart to move his hand to wipe it away. He felt Yamaguchi adjust his seating position, and he panicked.

“Wait-”

“What?” he stopped.

“Oh, I thought you were leaving”

“You really think I’d leave this?” he beamed.

“I would, I can feel Orion staring me down”

Yamaguchi giggled against his neck again, “Tsukki?” he said, before looking back up at him.

“Yeah?” he met his gaze, but Yamaguchi had a totally different expression. This was a whole new level of close, and if he didn’t feel Yamaguchi’s lips press against his, then he would have taken Yamaguchi’s idea from earlier and sworn that this had to be a dream. But it wasn’t, and his eyes seemed to close on their own, until a moment later when all the stars in the sky disappeared from his vision.

Yamaguchi pulled back then, looking as terrified as ever.

“Tsukki… I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-” he used one of his hands to cover his mouth for a second.

The familiar setting of his back yard had peered into view once again, “Yamaguchi-”

“Tsukki, everything disappeared and it’s all my fault, I’m really sorry!”

“It’s not-”

“But it is! What if you can’t get it back and-”

Tsukishima sighed, leaning forward to press his lips against Yamaguchi’s once more, feeling him still underneath him. He pulled back slowly, resting his forehead against the other’s, “Shut up, Yamaguchi. My parents will hear you”

“Sorry, Tsukki” he mumbled under his breath, before his eyes suddenly widened.

“What is it?” he asked, not moving an inch.

“Tsukki, I forgot to call my mom”

Tsukishima let out a laugh, causing Yamaguchi to do the same, neither of them caring who heard.

It was definite, he had realised, that life on earth was a constant chain of firsts, and usually they seemed to happen for him all at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Cassiopeia's pretty great](http://astrobob.areavoices.com/astrobob/images/Cass.jpg), in my opinion. Thanks for reading whatever this is!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry for not updating sooner! Exams seem to have fried my brain, and I wanted to spend longer writing this chapter as I wasn't 100% satisfied with how I wrote the previous one. I hope to have the final chapter done by next week. As always, thank you so much for reading my dialogue heavy mess!

_So much for not getting attached_ , Tsukishima thought as he laid comfortably on his bed, his fingers entwined with Yamaguchi’s. He gripped harder on the bed sheets with his free hand as he tried to use his powers again.

Normally, they would never lie this close, with their shoulders brushing, and neither one daring to move an inch, but all their previous positions were to no avail. They didn’t really have the choice to move now. There was also the fact that they were literally holding hands.

_It’s just for the purpose of the powers, it’s not like we’re really holding hands, probably._

Whether Tsukishima would admit it to himself or not, they were closer now than they had ever been. It should have occurred to him much earlier that Yamaguchi was both his reason to keep going and the cause of his powers’ downfall.

It was impossible for him to live with both. Sure, he was doing a pretty bad job at living as a human, so resorting to the familiar couldn’t be considered an inexcusable thing. However, there was a reason that he would eventually forget his past life, and having his powers momentarily on earth was supposed to teach him how to let things go. Then again, he was doing a pretty bad job at that too. Once again, he had found himself taking the same paths that his brother had taken before him.

Even though he hadn’t exactly come to terms with his humanity yet, he had figured that the pain of losing a friend like Yamaguchi would be much worse than trying to cling to the past. He began to consider himself lucky, considering that he could live on earth with humans that are much more acquainted with this world than he was, but with life comes death, and with death comes forgetting.

Coming back to reality, he gently squeezed Yamaguchi’s hand, as if to reassure himself that _yes, you’re still here, you’re one thing that I haven’t lost yet._ That, and he hadn’t quite lost his mind yet, thankfully.

Tsukishima held his breath in anticipation as he watched his room disappear. Once Cassiopeia had appeared in front of him again, he heard Yamaguchi perk up beside him.

“It worked! I can see it now.” he gasped, squeezing Tsukishima’s hand back.

“Finally.” he sighed. Tsukishima turned his head and admired Yamaguchi’s expression, which looked similar to that of an overly excited child. He felt his heart leap in his chest as he saw the reflection of the stars he once helped create reflect in Yamaguchi’s eyes as his smile grew wider.

It was at that moment that Tsukishima was thankful that his powers had cooling effects, otherwise he would probably be sweating like hell right now. However, the downside was that the slight overuse of his powers in the past had led him to be cold quite often.

Yamaguchi was his complete opposite in this case, always warm and smiling, so much so that Tsukishima diverted his gaze quickly in attempt to forget that he ever thought of pulling Yamaguchi closer to him. It also wouldn’t help their current situation, in which they had spent roughly a half hour trying different positions just so Yamaguchi could see his powers again.

He decided to keep the thought of Yamaguchi kissing him in the back of his mind, considering that neither of them had spoken of it since. Bringing it up now would only make things awkward, he presumed.

“It’s even scarier lying down.” he heard him whisper. Tsukishima laughed and rubbed his thumb gently over Yamaguchi’s hand.

“Remember, it’s not real, we’re still in my bedroom.” he said as he knocked against his bedside table, “We can stop if you want.”

“Oh, not yet.” he looked over at him slightly, “Not unless you want to stop.”

“That’s the thing, I never want this to stop” his smile faded, “It’s strange actually. They’re much stronger when I look at them with you. They’ve been fading progressively all week, well, until now.”

“Oh, maybe it’s different when there’s two of us then.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

It was definitely strange that his powers had suddenly started to grow stronger, in the midst of his stress and figuring out his feelings for Yamaguchi. He noticed that his headaches had ceased as well since earlier that evening. He had figured the two were related somehow, but since this was another first for him, he couldn’t be so sure.

Yamaguchi smiled, bringing up his free hand to scratch his head, “You know when you said that you created both the moon and the stars with your brother?”

“Mhmm, yeah?” Tsukishima replied, pulling himself out of his daze.

“Does that mean that you created the sun too? Isn’t the sun a star?”

“No, we didn’t create the sun. I actually don’t even know who did. Whoever it was must have had some big plans though, there wouldn’t be life on earth otherwise really.”

Yamaguchi looked at him wide eyed, “Oh, I see. The moon’s pretty important too, right?”

Tsukishima smirked, “I guess, the human race could possibly survive without though, apparently.”

“It’s nice to look at though.” Yamaguchi smiled, “You can’t stare at the sun.”

Tsukishima paused, “Do you want to see it?”

“Hm? See what?”

“The moon.”

“Oh, you can see that with your powers too?!”

“Of course, you’re essentially looking into my memories from my past life you know.”

“So the sky we’re seeing now is millions of years old then?”

“Billions.”

“Billions?!”

“How old do you think the earth is?! Obviously it’s billions.”

“Oh. So the sky outside right now is different?” he glanced up again.

“In some ways, yes. Scientists keep finding new clusters of stars.” he sighed.

“Wait, so that means…” he looked towards Tsukishima again.

“Yeah” he frowned, closing his eyes for a moment, “Someone’s taken over for me and my brother. There’s still a creator up there doing what I did a couple of billion years before.”

“But if they were going to continue creating stars, why did they have you reincarnated?”

Tsukishima shrugged his shoulders, “Probably something to do with my soul. They must have seen that I was becoming wearier.”

“Oh.” Yamaguchi said quietly. Tsukishima opened his eyes again, staring off to the right, thankful that he could see the sky in its full glory tonight. He wanted to cherish every moment he had left with his powers, and he had managed to share the same sight with a human in his time on earth. He felt that he should add that to his accomplishments of the day.

He felt Yamaguchi’s other hand on his arm suddenly and turned his head. He jerked when he met Yamaguchi’s stare, his eyes watching closely with a worried expression.

“What- what’s wrong?” he gasped, aware of how warm Yamaguchi’s hand felt against him.

“ _Tsukki._ ” he lowered his head onto Tsukishima’s shoulder, no longer looking at him, “The more you tell me about your past life, the more I seem to understand.”

Tsukishima let out a shallow breath, “Understand what?”

“Why you are the way you are.”

Tsukishima looked at him, puzzled, “Oh?”

Yamaguchi inhaled quickly, “Not- not in a bad way… or anything! It’s just that I worry.”

He sighed in reply, “I’m fine.”

“I know, I know” he trailed off, bringing his eyes up to meet Tsukishima’s again, “And I know that you don’t want to lose your powers so early like your brother did.”

Tsukishima stiffened, looking away from him.

“And you don’t get so fired up about volleyball like the rest of us because you don’t want to suffer later, and I get that. I was there too when you saw your brother in the stands, cheering on for a teammate who he felt he couldn’t overcome. You shouldn’t stop trying because something’s being taken from you, I guess.”

“Are you referring to my powers or my position on the team?”

Yamaguchi shrugged, “Both. Your brother went through the exact same situations as you but he didn’t stop trying, right? He still plays volleyball.”

“So, you’re saying that I should sacrifice my powers?”

“I’m-” he hesitated, “I’m just saying that it’s okay to suffer, to feel helpless. I know how it feels. It’s fine to want to hang on to your powers too but-” he sighed, “It’s okay to feel, you don’t have to run away.”

Tsukishima sighed quietly, diverting his gaze back up to the stars, who were forever watching, regardless of whether his powers were gone or not. They would see him off until his final days, following his countless reincarnations through time, and carefully observing from his first breath on earth until his very last. His soul would forever be connected to the stars and the moon, but as to whether the souls he had encountered on earth would remain with him, he may never know.

But life was cruel that way.

“Yamaguchi, do you think love can transcend time?”

Yamaguchi stirred, sitting up slightly to look at him, “Huh?!”

“Just a thought.” he mumbled, avoiding Yamaguchi’s gaze.

“Uh, you mean like soulmates? People believe in all that sort of stuff… why do you ask?”

“Hmm, no reason really.”

_Do you think it’s possible for me to still love you in my next life? Will I be able to recognise my brother’s soul when I no longer remember his first human name?_

A sudden gasp from Yamaguchi stalled his train of thought, “ _Tsukki._ ”

“ _What?_ ”

“You saw the dinosaurs being created, didn’t you?!”

“Wha -what are you talking about… I don’t-”

“Tsukki, that’s why you love them so much, you _saw_ them!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He turned his head.

“So dinosaurs were real!”

“Of course they were real!”

“So you admit it!” he smiled brightly.

“I’m not-” he huffed, “ _Shut up, I’m taking you to the moon._ ” he said, covering Yamaguchi’s eyes with his hand, “Don’t look down again.”

Yamaguchi laughed happily against him, “Were you in love with a dinosaur, Tsukki? Was he your soulmate?”

“ _Stop!_ And I haven’t been able to experience human emotions until this life, so _no_ , I wasn’t in love with a dinosaur.”

“Oh, so does that mean there’s someone you like now?”

“I thought we established that earlier this evening.”

“Ah. Wait, what?”

Tsukishima sighed again, “I didn’t kiss you back just to shut you up, you know.” Yamaguchi remained silent as Tsukishima moved his hand away from his eyes, “I had presumed that you took the hint.”

Yamaguchi shook his head, “I thought that my feelings were one-sided, so uh, I felt really bad for kissing you like that. I thought you were mad at me.”

“Well, they’re not, and I’m not mad.”

“They’re not?” he whispered.

“Mhmm, and I was surprised too, I didn’t think you liked guys.” he murmured, rotating the moon as he pleased.

“I think girls are cute too though, I just-” Yamaguchi paused, eyeing Tsukishima before diverting again, “I’ve liked you for a while.”

Tsukishima smirked, “You think Yachi’s cute.”

“Huh?! N-no I-”

“Yes you do.” he smiled smugly at him.

“ _Tsukki_ ” he whined, covering his face with his hand, “You’re totally ignoring that I just confessed to you!”

“Yamaguchi, do you have a thing for blondes?”

“No, _stop_.”

Tsukishima covered his mouth with his hand as he laughed.

“I can’t enjoy the moon with you laughing at me!” he giggled.

“We’re gonna have to stop soon anyway, I have to show you how to do tonight’s homework.”

Yamaguchi groaned against his shoulder, “Can’t I just sleep instead?”

“No, no sleep. I can’t stand these nightmares I’ve been having. Sleep can wait, and next time come to school instead, I’d never be the one to stay mad at you.”

Yamaguchi sighed, “I only ran away yesterday because I didn’t want to cry in front of you.”

“I’ve already seen you cry.” Tsukishima said, waving his hand in front of himself. The starry landscape dissolved in front of them, and they were met again with the opposite wall of Tsukishima’s room.

Yamaguchi stared at him in awe, “Why didn’t you do that last time?! You’re always so cool.”

“Because a certain someone caught me off guard and kissed me out of the blue, remember? Those kind of emotions are way too human-like for my powers.”

“Oh yeah.” He laughed quietly, “Sorry, Tsukki.”

Regardless of hearing Yamaguchi tell him, Tsukishima knew all too well that giving into his humanity was inevitable and would happen very soon. There would come a day where he couldn’t run from it anymore. Even stars can fall to their doom on earth, and ex-creators were no exception.

* * *

Tsukishima watched the sky become darkened by brooding clouds as the first drops of rain pattered against the window. As comforting as it was to be able to see the clear sky often from his window seat, he had managed to find a moment’s peace while staring off into the mist, awaiting the rain spell that was to come. He figured that this was a form of adapting to not using his powers as often, as he could still completely zone out his surroundings, as well as forgetting the book that laid motionless in his hands.

His peaceful moment was quickly interrupted by the loud chatter of his classmates. Unfortunately for Tsukishima, the dull weather conditions also had its cons, including forcing everyone to stay inside during their lunch break. He brought his headphones down around his neck, catching a glimpse of Yamaguchi in the corner of his eye.

Yamaguchi was sitting at his desk, mindlessly fidgeting with the edge of his textbook. Two girls hovered in front of him, speaking to him in hushed tones. He recognised their nervous expressions and the way they shied away from his general direction. He wasn’t exactly on a first name basis with them however, or any name for that matter, but it wasn’t the first time he had seen Yamaguchi in a situation like this. Even though Yamaguchi would never mention it to him, he’d hear things going around.

_“Tsukishima, did you hear that those girls were asking Yamaguchi about you again? Do you think they’re going to confess to you?”_

_“Yamaguchi didn’t look to happy about that! It’s like they’re using him.”_

Tsukishima sighed, closing his eyes, he too knew the struggle of not being able to confess your feelings to someone. Words would get lost and jumbled up completely, leaving both parties in an atmosphere that’s more awkward than what they began with. And in the odd worst case scenario, you could end up on an amazing tangent which leaves one of you in tears and running away, while the other battles a monstrous headache while contemplating his entire existence. Not that Tsukishima knew anything about that case.

These girls clearly hadn’t been paying enough attention. They had known that Yamaguchi was close to him, but had they ever considered why they were so close, why they were always seen together? Well, one could argue that they might live close to each other, or that they’ve known each other since elementary. But that didn’t explain why they ate lunch together every day, studied together, and did club activities together. They even had matching bags for training, it couldn’t have been that hard to put two and two together.

Tsukishima veered his eyes towards him again, watching as Yamaguchi pulled back his hand to scratch the back of his neck as he donned his best fake smile, which you wouldn’t see so often, which is why Tsukishima could tell he was faking from this far away. He could read Yamaguchi like a book, not that it was particularly difficult or taxing, he was just an easy guy to figure out, forever the honest and helpful type. In other words, he was Tsukishima’s complete opposite, and after observing him over all this time, it wasn’t hard to figure out what he was thinking. They understood each other in ways no one else could.

Yamaguchi’s hand returned to its position on his book, as he turned slightly away from them, “Ah, well, I don’t know if…” his eyes travelled along the floor before meeting with Tsukishima’s. His eyes widened as he jumped back slightly, turning back around in his desk again. The girls proceeded to hide their laughter with their hands clutched to their mouths. Tsukishima grinned. He closed his book and stood up, and took a quick glance towards the rain outside. He manoeuvred his way through the desks until he finally reached Yamaguchi’s. Yamaguchi’s head turned towards him as he approached.

“Ah, Tsukki” he said anxiously, “I was meaning to-”

“Yamaguchi” he cut him off, wrapping an arm around Yamaguchi’s shoulders, “Let’s go out.”

Yamaguchi shuddered at the sudden contact, before looking up at him, “H-Huh? Out?”

“Yes.”

“Now?”

“ _Yes._ ” He trailed his hand from Yamaguchi’s shoulders down to his wrist, before yanking him out of his chair. The two girls were much shorter up close, wearing confused expressions as Yamaguchi and Tsukishima practically towered over them. Yamaguchi barely got to wave them off politely before Tsukishima dragged him out of the classroom. He released his grip once they had reached the hallway.

“Tsukki!” he blurted out before taking a few steps to catch up to him, “What are you doing?”

“Getting those girls off your back. That’s what you wanted, right?” he faced forward and stuffed his hands into his pockets. They continued to walk aimlessly down the hallway.

“Well, uh, yes, but they were asking me about you.”

“I know. I don’t think they’ll ask you anymore though.” He smirked.

Yamaguchi slowly came to a realisation, “Tsukki, they’re gonna think that we’re going _out_ , and not the kind that’s outside!”

“Are we not?”

“I, uh, well…” his mumbled. Tsukishima smiled at him deviously to catch his attention.

“Wh-where are we going, anyway?! Outside?”

“Hmm, that’s a good idea. Let’s.” he turned the corner and down another empty hallway, Yamaguchi following behind him.

“It’s really quiet here today.” he lowered his voice.

“Everyone’s inside due to the rain.” Tsukishima pulled the door open, closing it after Yamaguchi came out, “We won’t get wet over here, there’s shelter.”

Yamaguchi eyed the place curiously, “Ah, I’ve never been on this side of the school before.” he pulled at his sleeves.

Tsukishima sat down on a nearby step, “It tends to be quiet on days like this. It’s a nice place to use my powers too, since no one comes out to bother me.”

“Oh, am I bothering you by being here?” he propped himself down next to him.

“Of course not, I brought you out here because I couldn’t stand watching those girls taunt you for another five minutes, even if it was about me. I also brought you out here because I wanted to. You don’t bother me.” he shrugged.

“Oh, okay then, I’m glad.” he laughed quietly, “Oh, did you say that you found a new song that you wanted me to hear?”

“Oh, yeah, here.” Tsukishima placed his headphones on Yamaguchi and then began searching for the song. He leaned back and pressed play as the other quickly adjusted the headphones. Yamaguchi listened attentively as Tsukishima watched the raindrops pelt off of the ground. As loud as the rain was, he’d take it over rowdy classmates any day.

Considering he had another four minutes to kill, he took the opportunity to look up towards the sky. The clouds were much darker than earlier, and not a single patch of sky could be seen beyond them from where they were sitting. It almost felt like the calm before a storm, and they were probably due one too at this point. He clutched his hands together and took a moment to close his eyes and utilise his powers, just for a brief moment.

He was met with none other than Orion, his arch enemy of sorts, and although he wasn’t the one to name the constellation, he had grown strangely attached to it. Even though he considered it far from his best work, and extremely far at that, the fact that many seemed to admire it so fondly made him wonder.

Why this particular constellation out of all of the stars in the galaxy? Why Orion? And why did Yamaguchi think it was so cool? The even bigger question was why did Yamaguchi think that Tsukishima was so cool? You save a tiny, crying elementary schooler from a group of bullies one day and suddenly you’re the definition of coolness itself? Is winning the attention of humans really that simple? Why did he have to grow up and why did everything have to get so much more difficult?

His sudden rant with himself inside his head had caused his view of Orion to blur, his sight becoming darker as the bright surrounding stars slowly dimmed out. He quickly shifted the view around to Cassiopeia again, doing so much quicker now since Yamaguchi wasn’t watching or suffering a potential dizziness spell. He sighed as he watched her in all her glory, her alpha, beta, and gamma stars still twinkling despite the roughage. The alpha, a double star, at present was approximately 229 light years from earth, and that would be the closest he would ever get to her again.

Cassiopeia was important to him, and it was more important to his brother, who probably couldn’t remember creating it now anyway. He felt embarrassed to find comfort in such a thing, but he knew it would always be there, regardless of whether he remembers seeing it for himself many years ago. Cassiopeia was also behind Yamaguchi when he had suddenly kissed him that night, and with that, he opened his eyes to the harsh downpour again, hoping a headache wouldn’t come along any time soon. He was having quite a delightful break from them.

His eyes returned to Yamaguchi, who had now pulled his legs up close to himself to wrap his arms around them. He wasn’t surprised to find Yamaguchi staring back at him, headphones still playing. Yamaguchi smiled quickly, “Were you using your powers?”

Tsukishima nodded back at him, “How’s the song?” he asked, tapping his own ear.

“Oh, good! I like this one.”

“Yeah, me too.” he smiled back at him. He was probably nearing the last minute of the song.

Tsukishima had always wondered how different his life would be if he hadn’t met Yamaguchi all those years ago. Was it some sort of fate that Tsukishima happened to be walking by there that day, and intervene of all things? It was at least three against one, regardless of how taller he was. Was it that moment that taught an emotionless ex-creator how to feel sympathy and compassion? Was it fate that brought them both to the door of the gym that day, or was it just purely coincidence? Was someone up there actually looking out for him?

Was it that first crucial friend that set him on this very path? Why would someone like Yamaguchi bother to follow him for years? He would never know if he was destined to meet Yamaguchi or not, but he was glad that he did.

He found himself edging closer towards Yamaguchi, letting their shoulders brush together. The latter looked up towards him again.

 _Cold_ , Tsukishima thought, _he must be freezing out here without any jacket. If he gets sick and has to miss school and practice, it’s all on you._

Tsukishima brought his fingers up to brush against Yamaguchi’s cheek. Yamaguchi’s eyes bolted to his immediately, realising how close they were. At this proximity, Tsukishima could hear that the song was nearly over, and that it was probably the last thing on Yamaguchi’s mind right now. Tsukishima wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing, and figured that even Yamaguchi would know what to do in this situation, if his theory of Yamaguchi having many past human lives was true.

He moved his hand to cup the other side of Yamaguchi’s face, hoping that his hand wasn’t shaking enough for him to notice, but then again, he seemed to notice everything about him. He leaned closer and heard Yamaguchi gasp quietly before he brought their lips together. Although he was doing much better than the first time he tried to kiss Yamaguchi back, he was wondering what he should do next. He was thankful that Yamaguchi’s face was still warm, despite the weather, so he moved his hand down to rest against Yamaguchi’s chest as he pulled back.

Yamaguchi’s eyes were still closed for a mere second after he had pulled back.

“I’m not very good at this, as you can probably tell.” he coughed.

Yamaguchi’s face finally changed as he laughed, his face red, “Next time, warn me before dragging me out in the rain!” He turned towards him again and wrapped his arms around Tsukishima’s waist, underneath his open jacket, tilting his head up slightly to kiss him once more. The headphones slipped down around his neck, and he smiled against Tsukishima’s mouth.

Tsukishima pulled back, “I wonder what those girls in our class would say if they saw you now.”

Yamaguchi covered his face, “ _No_ , we have to go back and face them now, Tsukki.”

Tsukishima laughed, he could still probably learn a thing or two from Yamaguchi, including how to properly treat your classmates, and your fellow team mates, and probably kissing, that too.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not posting this sooner! I found this chapter really hard to start, but I finally finished it, and I spent more time on this one than I did with the other chapters. Thank you to everyone that has read this far, and to those who left kudos and comments. They helped to motivate me and I really appreciate it! Thank you so much for reading.

As a result of recent events, Tsukishima could finally admit that yes, humans were in fact quite interesting. He still found them difficult to understand, but it has always been difficult for humans to even understand each other, or why they were on earth, or in this galaxy for that matter. With that in mind, he realised that he wasn’t so different from them after all.

Tsukishima didn’t know who was making the big decisions out there, or if there even was someone fulfilling that role, and honestly, he thought they were probably better off. He had seen this planet from far away and knew of the intricate details of work that pieced together the entire universe. He had found it fascinating, yet oddly frightening then, and those feelings had yet to change even after his time on earth, even if it was only a ‘short’ time so far.

Then there was Yamaguchi, who remained the biggest mystery to him of them all. He was bright, warm, and homely, despite the harshness of the world. He honestly couldn’t tell what Yamaguchi saw in him, a laid-back person that seemed cold towards strangers. He thought that a person like himself shouldn’t be someone to be admired, right? Still, they were just two teenagers trying to figure life out, finding themselves, and finding something to be proud of.

Tsukishima watched Yamaguchi laugh quietly at his previous statement, blocking his mouth with his face towel. He couldn’t help but smile himself, he honestly couldn’t tell where their conversation had gone anymore. They wiped the remaining sweat off their faces as they headed to get their water bottles.

“If I had known that you’d laugh that hard, I would have said it sooner.”

Yamaguchi clutched his side, “No, stop, Tsukki! I can’t breathe.” he smiled again.

“I didn’t even say anything that time.” he smirked.

Yamaguchi made it to the wall first, sliding down to the ground in relief. He was slowly followed by Tsukishima.

“No, but people will _ask questions_.” he said before taking a long drink.

“ _Ask questions_ about what?”

Yamaguchi smiled at the mimicry before wiping his mouth, “About what we’re laughing at.”

“Oh? So you don’t want them to know?”

He shrugged in reply, “It’s fun to have jokes between just ourselves, right? I guess..”

He grinned back mischievously, “Ah, is that so? You don’t want to share me with people then?”

Yamaguchi almost spat out the water in his mouth, before looking up at him, “What?!”

“What?”

“W-what do you mean?!”

“Hmm? There’s nothing wrong with wanting a few private jokes.”

“Oh? Because it seems like you’re talking about something completely different!”

“Take it however you please, then.”

“Tsukki!” he shoved his arm gently as he laughed again.

He had noticed the increased physical contact between them as it gradually grew. Even if it was only subtle shoves our touches here and there, they never went unnoticed. He secretly wished that there wasn’t always so many people around, so Yamaguchi’s hand could linger a little longer, or that they could laugh without worry of people’s curiosity.

He tugged at the cap of his bottle before glancing back over at Yamaguchi, who was staring at something on the other side of the gym. It was rare that he’d catch him looking like this, still sweating from practice, his skin slightly darker from the summer weather, his face fixated on something as he was totally lost in his world. His freckles spread across his face more noticeably than usual, thanks to the bright gym lights and his flushed face.

Yamaguchi’s breathing rate had finally slowed as he relaxed properly against the wall. They would only have a few minutes left of their water break, but Tsukishima had already spent around 85% of that time staring at Yamaguchi. Was there something about how people looked after exercising that made them beautiful, that they were glowing with health or something? A completely natural beauty that people never saw for themselves, only by others. _Someone’s gonna see you staring. You’re also making it way too obvious._ He also didn’t care much about what that someone would think.

Tsukishima watched him wipe his mouth again with the collar of his shirt, until Yamaguchi looked his way. Tsukishima quickly diverted his gaze to the same direction that Yamaguchi was looking at just moments before. He sighed, putting his water bottle down.

“Do you think they’ll ever know when to stop?”

“You mean Hinata and Kageyama?” Yamaguchi replied ordinarily which Tsukishima was thankful for. Maybe he didn’t notice that Tsukishima was staring the whole time, that or maybe he did and decided to keep quiet about it. He was grateful either way.

“Mhmm. I still don’t understand what they’re saying.”

“I don’t think we ever will. It’s like they’ve got their own evolving language that only they can communicate with.”

Tsukishima laughed, “At least their signs might be even too confusing and simple minded for the rival teams.”

They watched silently for a moment as Hinata and Kageyama retried their new attack. Every failure seemed to spout two more retries. It was an endless cycle that was exhausting enough to watch from a distance. It probably wouldn’t be long more before Sugawara told them to take it easy.

“How does Hinata not get tired from jumping so high all the time?”

“I’m already tired enough from practice.” Tsukishima yawned.

“I’m more tired out from all the laughing.”

“Hinata’s like a ball of energy and unlimited stamina. I don’t think anyone on the team can compete with those traits.”

Upon hearing no reply from Yamaguchi, he turned his head back around to look at him. He was surprised at what he saw, as Yamaguchi’s face lit up with what looked like a moment of discovery.

“Tsukki.”

He hesitated, “...Yes?”

“Yachi mentioned something to me recently.” He finally looked back at him.

“Alright, go on.”

“About your name.”

“My name?”

“Uh, your family name.”

Tsukishima looked at him bewildered, “What about it?”

“Well, you know that the “Tsuki” of Tsukishima means moon, and that the “Hi” of Hinata means sun? She said that you guys are like the sun vs. the moon.”

Tsukishima glanced over at Hinata, who had finally stopped to drink some water.

“You mean like..?”

“Well, that you’re both middle blockers.. and stuff like that!”

Tsukishima turned to face him again, “Right…”

“And so about that, I was thinking that because it’s kind of cool that you created the moon,” he said in a hushed tone, “and that you have ‘moon’ in your name, then maybe Hinata created the sun, because you said you didn’t know who created it, right?”

Tsukishima stared at him for a second before he burst out laughing, “Yamaguchi, that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day.”

Yamaguchi was quick to join in with the laughter, “Yeah, I know right?! There’s no way that could possibly be the case, right? I mean..”

Tsukishima paused to catch his breath as a sudden thought flooded his mind.

“That couldn’t _possibly_ be the case… right?” he breathed.

Yamaguchi was clenching his side again, “Huh?”

Tsukishima’s face turned pale, “But if you were to look at the timelines then…”

“Tsukki, you know I was only joking, right?” Yamaguchi sat up.

Tsukishima looked around before leaning in closer to him, “You know how I said I didn’t know who did create it, I just know it wasn’t me or my family?”

“Yamaguchi spoke quietly, “Yeah?”

“Well, I didn’t have something like a solid long term memory then like I do now, so even if I did know who created it, I probably would have forgotten over time. We weren’t exactly allowed to mingle up there either, so whoever created it couldn’t have stayed in my ‘memory’.”

Tsukishima took a moment to think to himself, as Yamaguchi began to worry.

“So it’s safe to presume that creators technically shouldn’t remember their past lives, but only remember the creations and creators that concerned them, which have only been able to stay with me because of my powers, but even then, those fade away over time too.” he mumbled.

“Eh… Tsukki.”

“They must be so powerful that they need the time post-reincarnation to be fully forgotten.”

Yamaguchi stiffened, “So, there’s a reason why you only remember that your family were creators, and that anyone here could be an ex-creator… but you just can’t remember them?”

“Right.” he nodded, staring at his feet, “So, if you were to argue that the sun and the moon were created at generally the same time, then I wouldn’t have known anyway, because I would have been too busy, plus he might have _just_ worked on the sun, and retired to the observation phase earlier than me. So, hypothetically, that would explain why I couldn’t possibly have known him _or_ even heard about him from other superiors. His weariness would have been too far gone for people to remember.” his eyes widened.

Yamaguchi waited for an answer, “So, that means…?”

“ _Which means he would have been reincarnated earlier than me_.”

“And- not later then?”

Tsukishima paused for a moment, “No, if I was reincarnated earlier then he would have been with me in the observation phase just before reincarnation. I was the last of my group, I was completely alone before reincarnation. Plus, it seems like they reincarnate creators by decades, if we were to apply it to time on earth. Hinata’s not that much older than me, so we must have been in the same phase. I just didn’t know him, so I couldn’t have remembered him.”

“O-oh.” Yamaguchi took a breath, “But, what about his sister, he said he had a little sister, didn’t he? Wouldn’t she have been there too?”

“Well if she’s about five or six now, then she would have been in the next group for the next decade of reincarnations. She might have worked on something else, depending her level of weariness, which is why she would have been reincarnated later.”

“Hypothetically?”

“Yes, hypothetically.” he turned back towards a confused Yamaguchi.

“Uh… Tsukki, you’re scaring me.”

“It’s just a thought, it’s not like I could ask him about it anyway. He probably would have had already lost all of his memories from his past life, he’s just too…”

“Human?”

“Yeah.” Tsukishima sighed, letting his head rest on the wall.

Yamaguchi smiled shyly, “Sorry, Tsukki!”, and he put his water bottle down, “I do want to ask him something though.” he said as he shuffled forward.

“Yamaguchi, wait-” he protested but Yamaguchi was already calling him over. He leant back against the wall in defeat, bringing his hands together as Yamaguchi smiled at Hinata.

“Your birthday was recently, right Hinata?” Yamaguchi asked.

“Huh? Yeah, June 21st, why?”

“Oh- we were just saying that you’re the oldest first year on the team!”

Tsukishima smirked from behind him. _Yeah, nothing like we think you created the sun or anything._ He stilled suddenly, after processing what Hinata had just said. He could still hear him trudging off faintly in the background as he tried to think.

“Kageyama, you should really respect your elders, don’t you think?!”

“Dumbass, you’re only six months older than me!” He could practically hear Kageyama fuming.

“Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima whispered, grabbing lightly onto the fabric near his shoulder, watching the other tilt his head to the side.

“Yeah- huh? What is it?” his expression changed.

“June 21st.”

“Yes.”

“The summer solstice, when the sun reaches its northernmost point of the equator, otherwise known as the longest day of the year.”

Yamaguchi’s eyes widened, “Oh.”

“Yeah, _oh_.”

Yamaguchi stared right back at him, “Tsukki, that’s why he can jump so high. He’s trying to get back to sun.”

There was a mere second of silence until the two of them burst out laughing again, despite Nishinoya shouting at them to get back to practice from the other side of the court.

* * *

“Nice block, Tsukishima!” Sugawara called out to him. However, the words of his team mates were gradually becoming more and more distanced and fuzzy, as the pounding in his head became louder. He let out a deep breath, lifting his glasses to rub at his eyes.

“Tsukishima, are you feeling alright?” he heard the captain ask.

“Uh, yes, I’ll be fine. This happens a lot.” he scratched the back of his neck.

“Well if it gets worse, you can sit out at any time.”

“Okay.” he turned back and noticed Yamaguchi looking at him worriedly.

_It’s just the powers acting up again, you’re fine, it’ll pass soon._

He tried to continue practice as normal, but it was a little hard to concentrate when he felt like his head had turned to mush. People were shouting and calling for tosses, shoes were squeaking on the floor, and everything seemed to be painfully louder. He vaguely remembered his brother going through the same thing years before. The headaches were normally the first onset of losing your powers, and depending on your behaviour, they could last from days to weeks. Tsukishima had been getting them for a number of weeks at this point, and he couldn’t tell whether that was a good or bad thing. They had tended to come in harsh spells.

He could faintly see Yamaguchi in his peripheral vision, knowing that he was keeping a close eye on him. He had probably guessed what was going on, but it wasn’t exactly something he could bring up to the team either. _Oh, it’s just these headaches he gets because he’s losing his powers, oh and did you know that he created the stars?_ He could always say that he was getting them over stress or tiredness, but then he would be lying, and then people might start to worry about him, and they were things he just didn’t want to deal with on top of his situation.

Another twinge forced him to clutch his forehead. He had his eyes shut but he could hear a volleyball being spiked right past him and onto the floor. He muttered a quick apology to Ennoshita, who happened to be standing next to him at the time.

“It’s alright, that’s why we practice- hey, are you alright?”

Tsukishima lifted his hand to look at him, “Uh, I think I’ll sit out for a bit.”

He noticed that the gym was awkwardly quieter, and Nishinoya trailed up to him, “Oi, what did I tell you about looking after yourself?!” he said as he passed Tsukishima a water bottle. Tsukishima smiled back at him.

Sugawara quickly intervened, “Maybe you should go out for some fresh air, it is a bit stuffy in here. Nishinoya’s right though, make sure you take care of yourself, especially in the coming weeks. You’re more useful to us on the court than not.” he shone his winning smile, which was always oddly comforting.

“Right.” he said as he opened the door and sat to change into his outdoor shoes.

He then moved over to sit against the wall, taking a drink of water as he pulled his legs closer to him to lean his arms on. He guessed that he was going to lose his powers soon, and he didn’t dare try to use them in the middle of his splitting headache. He let his head rest between his knees as he tried to relax even just a little, anything to stop the pain.

He heard the door to the gym close slowly and muffled footsteps before someone sat down next to him a few seconds later.

“Tsukki?” he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up, squinting at the sudden change of light, “Don’t look so worried, Yamaguchi, I’m fine.”

“Is it the headaches again?” he said quietly, retracting his hand.

He nodded back at him, “What are you doing out here?”

“Ah, Sugawara told me that I could come out and sit with you. I was only practicing by myself anyway.” he smiled shyly.

Tsukishima hummed in response, taking another sip of water.

“Is it a bad one this time?” Yamaguchi whispered, clutching onto the end of his shirt.

Tsukishima watched him closely, “Yeah, but I’m fine, really. They’ll probably be gone soon, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he paused, looking back at Tsukishima, “Are you upset?”

“It was always going to happen whether I liked it or not. I’ve had a long time to prepare.”

“That still doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

Tsukishima sighed, “True, but if it didn’t hurt then I couldn’t really be human, could I?”

Yamaguchi looked away and smiled, “I guess you’re right.”

Tsukishima looked at Yamaguchi, still clutching his shirt. He couldn’t tell what he was thinking about. He was hard to read sometimes, surprisingly enough. However, he was probably worried about something, or overthinking the situation way too much as usual. But he was glad to know that whenever he had a problem, Yamaguchi would always be close by, a little too concerned sometimes perhaps, but always there nevertheless.

“Yamaguchi.”

“Huh, yeah?” he looked up out of his daze.

“Uh, thanks, I guess.”

Confusion spread over Yamaguchi’s face, “For what?”

“Just-” he shrugged, “for being here,” _For showing me that it’s okay to live, and to feel._ “like always.” _And that humans aren’t as bad as I make them out to be._

“O-oh.” he flushed, scratching the back of his neck, “Well, you’re welcome then?”

Tsukishima smiled back at him, before turning away. The door to the gym suddenly opened again and Sawamura’s head popped around the corner.

“Hey, you guys can go home if you want. We’ll be finishing up soon anyway. Tsukishima, are your parents at home?”

“I don’t think they are right now.”

“Uh, it’s okay, I’ll go home with him!” Yamaguchi piped up.

“Okay, make sure you both rest up well.” He said as he disappeared again.

“Is that alright with you, Tsukki? I can stay with you until your parents get back.” he said, standing up again.

“Sure, that’s fine with me.”

“Alright, I’ll get our bags.” he set off, taking Tsukishima’s empty water bottle with him.

Tsukishima attempted to stand up again, making sure to take his time. There’d be no way of getting him home soon if he couldn’t walk properly, and Yamaguchi surely couldn’t carry him the entire way, along with their bags.

Thankfully, he was able to get up successfully, only feeling a little woozy in his head. The pain was subsiding little by little, and he was sure he could make the walk home in this condition. He’d have Yamaguchi either way, if all went wrong.

He leaned back against the wall again, taking deep breaths. It was still bright out even at the hour, with a clear sky as the sun slowly set. He was relieved that the headache was easing off, but his sudden weakness was causing him more worry than anything else. His skin was slightly clammy from practice, but he swore he was breaking out into a cold sweat. He had eaten lunch today and drank more water than usual. As of now, the only other thing that could be causing something like this was his powers.

Yamaguchi returned soon after with their bags, one over each shoulder, looking a little wiped out.

“Did you run?” he smirked.

“Uh, yeah.” he said, breathlessly.

Tsukishima shook his head, smiling to himself, “I can carry my bag.” he extended his hand to Yamaguchi.

“No, it’s okay really. I’ll take it, it’s not that heavy!”

“If you’re sure.” he said as they began walking out of the school.

Tsukishima noticed that he was becoming weaker the further they walked, but didn’t want to worry Yamaguchi, so he kept his mouth shut. They walked in silence for the first few minutes, which allowed him to concentrate on moving one foot in front of the other. This silence was different, however. It was a comfortable silence, where they were both perfectly happy with just being in each other’s presence.

“Have you tried using them again?” Yamaguchi asked quietly.

“My powers?”

Yamaguchi nodded, looking up to make sure Tsukishima was alright.

“Not since I- uh,” he struggled to find the right words, “not since that day it rained.”

“Oh,” Yamaguchi paused to think, “the day when you showed me that new song.”

“Yeah.” he coughed slightly.

Yamaguchi smiled but there was a slight sadness behind it, “I feel bad.”

Tsukishima looked at him, “Why would you feel bad? You did nothing wrong.”

Yamaguchi sighed, “I just feel that- I feel like if we hadn’t-”

“It was inevitable, you don’t have to feel bad.”

“I know, I know, but you could have had your powers for a little longer, I mean..”

“It’s better this way.”

“Huh?” he breathed.

Tsukishima took a shaky breath, “I liked my powers, sure, and I liked the stars, and the moon, and the memories of creating them, and the comfort I found in them,” he paused, pushing up his glasses, “but I like you more.”

Yamaguchi didn’t reply, but Tsukishima could feel his gaze on him as they walked.

“I know that I haven’t explicitly said it like you did, but I do like you, and I feel much better knowing that my feelings are getting across to you now somehow, even if I am bad at showing them.” he took another breath, not realising that he had unknowingly increased his walking pace, “That to me is worth more than any power, even if I have only just realised it this past few weeks, but I couldn’t have done that without you.”

Yamaguchi was still staring at him, taking it all in, “Tsukki..”

“I just needed you to know that-” he suddenly reached for Yamaguchi’s shoulder to hold himself up, “so you don’t need to feel bad at all.”

Yamaguchi stilled at the touch, bringing his arm around Tsukishima’s back on instinct, “Are you okay?! Do you need to sit down?”

“Just for a second.” he said, leaning against the wall nearby, “I’m fine, I promise.” He took off his glasses to wipe them with his shirt.

Yamaguchi sighed in relief before he gasped suddenly, “I’m still wearing my volleyball shoes!”

Tsukishima looked down towards their feet, “ _And_ I’m after forgetting my volleyball shoes in front of them gym.”

“I need my shoes for tomorrow, I’ll have to go back and get them but-” he paused, “No, I can’t leave you here.”

“No, go get them, and get mine too while you’re there. Leave the bags with me, I’ll sit here. If you wait until I get back, then they might have closed up already.” he said as he slipped his glasses back on.

“But- are you sure?” he said, dropping the bags near the wall, “I’ll be quick, there’s water in my bag if you need some.”

“Alright, I need to catch my breath anyway.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll be a few minutes.” he waved as he ran back off in the direction they came. By the time Tsukishima had looked back up, Yamaguchi was already out of sight, probably thanks to all their running during practice, no doubt. What Tsukishima had failed to tell Yamaguchi, however, was that something was very wrong, and if he didn’t get home soon, then he would probably throw up in the middle of the path, or pass out.

It had seemed like a perfect plan at the time, but when Tsukishima had enough breath back to stand up, he lifted the bags over his shoulder and continued walking down the street. _We’re almost there, just literally a few minutes away and I can throw up in peace._ His plan was going well until he started feeling dizzy, and he was pretty sure his head was going to explode, as the headache had suddenly come back in full swing.

He had thought about what had happened all day, anything that could determine why this was happening to him now. He walked to school with Yamaguchi, had classes, had lunch with Yamaguchi, had more classes, went to club activities, stared at Yamaguchi for a bit, got into fits of laughter with Yamaguchi despite the upperclassmen’s looks, and literally told Yamaguchi how he had really felt about him all this time.

Tsukishima had somehow pieced together what was happening when he turned the corner onto his street, despite the pounding in his head. For the first time in a while, he was actually acting like a normal human being, a normal human being with a crush on his best friend. He knew that he was in love with Yamaguchi, and he also knew that falling in love was a sure-fire way to lose his powers.

He opened the door to his house after several tries with one hand, holding the bags with his other. But before he could celebrate that he had finally learned how to live, he dropped the bags by the doorstep and quickly followed them as he went off-balance, feeling his knees hit the floor as the light-headedness finally took over him.

* * *

Once Tsukishima could feel the floor beneath him head, his senses were slow to come back. He was sure he was awake, but he wasn’t moving. He was surrounded by darkness, but not the familiar comfort that accompanied him while he had slept over the years.

There were no bright lights twinkling in the distance, and instead of the coolness that usually swept over him, he could feel sweat on his skin. Yet, there was a cool breeze in the distance, he didn’t know where it was coming from, but it was still there. At first he thought he was floating, or falling, as his legs didn’t seem to be in contact with anything solid.

The dark vision was unlike anything he had experienced with his powers in the past, this time it was dark, yet fuzzy, and it made him feel small and insignificant. A darkness that he felt he could never break out from, never overcome. He could hear a voice faintly in the distance, calling his name over and over, and for a moment, he was convinced he was back as a creator before the earth had even been created, before anything had been created. It seemed like a plausible explanation for why he was staring into the void.

The pain in his head had vanished completely, but he wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. There was one thing he was sure of though after a moment of thought, and it was that he was on earth, and he was a human, because he was sweating like hell. That, and he wasn’t actually staring into the void, he was looking at the back of his eyelids.

He could feel a cold hand touch the side of his neck and he sucked in a breath. The hand suddenly moved away from him and the voice got louder. Once he was entirely sure of what had just happened, he slowly opened his eyes so they were met with the figure in front of him.

“Tsukki, are you okay?! Can you hear me? Tsukki?”

Tsukishima squinted, feeling a slight pain on his elbow, “Yamaguchi?” he managed to mumble.

Yamaguchi breathed out quickly, “You’re okay, you’re okay, _I’m so glad._ ”

Tsukishima saw the door open behind Yamaguchi, letting in the cold breeze.

“I fainted.” he sighed, straightening his glasses before clutching his elbow again.

“I think so, I’m elevating your legs, and I’m pretty sure your elbow broke your fall. Just lay there until you can sit up properly again.” he smiled, but Tsukishima knew that he was worried.

“I’m okay.” He tried to reassure him, even though he was a bit out of it. His elbow wasn’t injured, thankfully. He hadn’t fainted before, but he was sure that the one he just experienced was no ordinary fainting.

“Yeah, you’re okay.” Yamaguchi replied, setting Tsukishima’s legs down on the floor slowly and kneeling down next to him, “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have left you there by yourself.”

“I’m fine.”

“Ah, how’s your elbow?” he said as he held Tsukishima’s elbow in his hands.

“It’s alright, I’m okay, I promise.” he looked up at him.

“You said that too before I ran to get our shoes, Tsukki.”

“Oh, did you get them?”

“Yes.” he giggled, putting his hand on Tsukishima’s forehead. Tsukishima looked at him again.

“O-oh I’m just checking- uh, you don’t seem to have a high temperature.” He removed his hand, looking away towards the door.

Tsukishima smirked at him, “So you’re fine with kissing me but you’re nervous when you put your hand on my head.”

Yamaguchi covered his face with his hands, his head not moving a single inch from the door, “ _Tsukki_.”

Tsukishima tugged at the end of Yamaguchi’s shirt, prompting him to look back, “You really don’t have to worry, it wasn’t an ordinary fainting. It would have happened whether or not you were there.”

“Huh? But-”

“They’re gone, and I presume that was the only way to get rid of them.”

Yamaguchi gaped at him, whispering, “Your powers are gone? Already?” His gaze turned downwards, mouth open and waiting for the words to come, “Tsukki, I’m sorry, I-”

“It’s alright, don’t be sorry.”

Yamaguchi swallowed, fidgeting with his hands.

“Oh, and can you help me sit up? I should call my brother.”

“Ah, okay.” He offered him his hand as he placed the other on his shoulder, bringing him up slowly. “I’ll get your phone for you.”

Yamaguchi stood up, closing the door and moving their bags to the side, before opening Tsukishima’s bag to find his phone. He handed it to him before settling back down next to him again. Tsukishima had turned to lean against the wall, as he dialled his brother’s number.

Yamaguchi leaned against the wall opposite him, only sliding off his shoes then.

“He’s not picking up.”

Yamaguchi’s gaze popped up to meet his, “Oh, maybe he’s late at work or something.”

“Hmm, maybe.” he said, rubbing his eyes.

“Do you want to go lie down?” he stood up again, bending down to offer his hand.

“Thanks.” he took Yamaguchi’s hand and stood up slowly.

“Are you okay?” Yamaguchi asked again.

“I told you, I’m good.”

“I mean about-” he trailed off, not wanting to say it.

Tsukishima gave a quick smile, “Yeah, they’re gone. It’s okay. I’m officially too human for them now, that’s good. I mean..” he sighed, “It just means that I don’t have a reason to run away anymore.” he said, still not letting go of Yamaguchi’s hand.

* * *

Tsukishima was having one of the best sleeps he had had in quite some time, even after the events of the evening. There were no headaches to keep him awake and no nightmares making him wake up sweating. He had no powers, of course, but it was a small price to play for a decent sleep. However, he could feel someone calling his name again, and attempting to shake him awake, and for a second he was worried that something was really wrong.

“Kei, Kei!”

Recognising the voice, he rubbed his eyes and slowly opened them, sitting up suddenly at the person in front of him, “Huh? Nii-chan?”

“Kei, what happened? I got your call.” his brother hovered over him.

Tsukishima reached to the floor for his glasses, still half asleep, “A call? What time is it?”

“It’s almost seven. What’s wrong?”

“Uh, nothing’s wrong.” He sat up, scratching the back of his neck, “Yamaguchi, where’s Yamaguchi?”

“He’s sleeping on the other chair over there. You called, Kei. You never call!”

Tsukishima looked him up and down, “Why are you dressed like that?”

“I came straight from the office once I saw a missed call!”

“Oh, well I’m fine.”

Akiteru sighed, rubbing his face, “You scared the life out of me, Kei.”

“I did faint though, a little.”

“Wait, what?! You fainted?! At school?” he said quieter, trying to not wake Yamaguchi.

“No, after practice, just in the hallway, but it’s okay, Yamaguchi was there.”

“How come you fainted?! Did you overwork yourself?”

“Uh no, it was actually-” he paused before looking at his brother again, “Do you remember the last time I called you?”

Akiteru turned around to look at Yamaguchi, “To tell me about you and Tadashi?” he whispered.

“Uh, yeah, and the other thing I told you about.” he said as confusion swept over his brother’s face.

“I don’t remember anything else that you told me, just about you guys having a fight and all that other stuff.” he paused to think.

Something dawned on Tsukishima and he quickly diverted it, “Ah, you’re right, I’m thinking about something else. I was just worried about me and Yamaguchi.” he smiled back at him.

“And did it work out _with you and him_?” he asked nudging his shoulder. Tsukishima nodded back as he diverted his gaze.

“Aw, Kei, you’re getting so grown up!” he wrapped his arm around his shoulder, “Be careful next time, okay? We can’t have you fainting left, right and centre.”

“Yeah, yeah, I understand.” he sighed.

“Well, mom and dad are outside bringing in the groceries. I’ll tell them what happened so there’s no need to worry.” he winked, dashing out of the room.

Tsukishima nodded in approval before turning in realisation, “Huh? Wait, tell them what now?” he asked but he was already outside.

_He’s already forgotten about being us being creators. His memories are gone._

Tsukishima leaned his head against the couch, wondering exactly when or how his shoes had been taken off of his feet, but also that he would one day forget all his memories of creating the stars and the moon, just like his brother, and their parents. Since his powers were now gone, it was only a matter of time before they slipped from his grasp.

Tsukishima slumped back down against the couch, turning his head to see Yamaguchi sleeping soundly on the single chair in the corner of the room. His hair was covering the side of his face while he drooled down his chin. Tsukishima laughed quietly at him. He had seen him in a similar position many times before, as he was always last to wake up when he stayed over, and at the training camp too. Tsukishima was surprised at his ability to sleep through anything.

 He got up from the couch cautiously, finding that he was able to stand again with no problem, probably thanks to his peaceful nap. The night had taken a whole new meaning to ‘clearing his head’.

He walked over to Yamaguchi quietly and pushed the hair out of his face. It was so quiet in the room that he could hear him breathing softly, yet could still hear his brother chatting to his mom outside. Tsukishima had always wondered what it was that Yamaguchi dreamed about, because he always seemed so enthralled as he slept. Then again, sometimes he had a hard time trying to figure out what Yamaguchi was thinking of while he was awake. It was something he should probably ask him some day.

“Yamaguchi.” he called out, rubbing the top of his head, similar to the way he woke him up at training camp a few weeks prior. He brought his hand down to Yamaguchi’s shoulder and shook him lightly, causing him to stir. He watched Yamaguchi stretch his arms out, and his eyes gaze across the room as he remembered where he was. He subtly tried to wipe his mouth, but was caught in Tsukishima’s gaze.

“Hey, do you want to stay for dinner?” he smirked.

“Huh? Uh, alright, if that’s okay.” He rubbed at his eyes, “I’ll call home and let them know.”

“At least you remembered to call them this time.” he laughed, watching Tsukishima smile.

“Stop!” he smiled back, “Last time had very different circumstances.”

“I don’t know, whenever you come here, something always happens to me.” he covered his mouth to stop himself laughing.

“Tsukki!”

“Oh, by the way, my brother just came over, and he’s outside telling my mom that we’re dating now or something, so dinner conversations should be interesting tonight.” he said as he turned quickly to head out of the living room.

“What? Tsukki?!” he heard Yamaguchi call from the living room as he laughed down the hallway.

* * *

“Here, you wanted these right?” Tsukishima nudged his arm with his box of leftover fries.

“Ah, yes! Thanks.” Yamaguchi smiled as he took them from him. They were sitting next to each other on a park bench, with what was left of their take-out food.

“I still don’t know how you can like the soggy ones so much.” Tsukishima said, taking a sip from his drink.

“Well I don’t get to have them too often, so they’re a nice treat.” he said as he pushed another into his mouth.

Tsukishima smirked at him. “We should do this more often.” He looked across the almost empty park. The night was getting slowly darker as the clouds rolled in. The breeze was cold against their faces, and Yamaguchi had been inching closer to Tsukishima for the past ten minutes.

“Mhmm, we should, before the first preliminaries start. Then volleyball will pretty much take up all of our time after that.”

“Yeah, that’s true too.” Tsukishima said, looking up at the brooding rain cloud above them. “Hey, did you bring an umbrella?”

“…No.” Yamaguchi frowned, finishing the last of the fries.

“Your bag looks pretty heavy though, what did you bring with you?”

“Oh! I almost forgot.” Yamaguchi brightened up as he shuffled around, I have something to show you.” Yamaguchi beamed as he got up and threw his garbage in the nearby trash can. “It’s uh, nothing special, but I saw it in the library and I thought of you.”

“You went to the library?”

“Huh? What? I go to the library sometimes.” he said as he dug through his bag.

“You never go to the library.”

Yamaguchi paused, “Okay, maybe I don’t, but it’s the thought that counts.” he laughed as he pulled a book out of his bag.

“What’s it about?”

Yamaguchi hid the book from Tsukishima for a moment before looking back up at him.

“What is it?”

“I know that you’ll already hate the cover.”

“Huh? Show me then.”

Yamaguchi turned the book towards him and Tsukishima smiled, “Ah, a constellation encyclopaedia. Oh-” he sighed into his hand.

“I warned you!” Yamaguchi laughed.

“Why does Orion always have to be on the cover?” Tsukishima groaned.

Yamaguchi held out the book to him, “Because it’s amazing, Tsukki!”

Tsukishima took the book from him, opening it to the contents page. “ _’14 billion-light years of the universe become visible.’_ ” he read out. “Did you look through it already?”

“Just a little, I wanted to wait and look through it together.” Yamaguchi leaned in close to him, as they both glanced at the book.

“Why they named the constellations after Greek mythology is beyond me.” Tsukishima muttered, turning to a specific page.

Yamaguchi leant in front of him to read the name, “Ah, I’d knew you’d come to this one first. _Your first love._ ”

“Of course. You’d hardly think I’d turn to Orion, do you? And I was never in _love_ with Cassiopeia.”

Yamaguchi smiled against his arm, “No, definitely not Orion. Cassiopeia is really beautiful, though.” he tilted his head as he tried to read the page, “What family does it belong to?”

“Perseus, a Greek hero.” Tsukishima replied, “There’s that, and the Hercules family, the Zodiac family, and the Ursa Major family.”

“ _Oh_.” he nodded, “And what family does Orion belong to?”

Tsukishima flicked through the pages before landing near the middle of the book, “I refuse to look at the Orion family.”

Yamaguchi gasped, “Tsukki, it has its own family?! You can’t not show me it now.”

“No, I refuse. I’m showing you the Zodiac family instead.” he laughed, “You’re a Scorpio, right?”

“You mean my star sign? Yeah, I think.” he said, catching his breath.

“Uh, here it is, it’s near the centre of the Milky Way.” he traced his hand along it on the page.

Yamaguchi stared at it in awe, “Ah, Tsukki, it’s so cool!”

“I suppose so. It contains one of the brightest stars in the sky, and one of its neighbours is Libra, which so happens to be my star sign.”

Yamaguchi followed his hand across the page, “It’s literally right next to it, Tsukki! It’s like we were meant to be.”

Tsukishima snorted, “I had no part in the making of the Zodiac family, that’s all on my brother. So I officially can’t be blamed for inaccurate horoscopes. Well, neither can my brother, considering that he doesn’t even remember creating them.”

“So you’re saying our fate doesn’t lie within the stars?”

Tsukishima leaned back, “I say believe in what you want to believe. A lot of scientists would agree that we’re made of stardust anyway, and if you were to believe in that you control your own fate, then you, a collection of stardust, are essentially where your fate lies anyway.”

Yamaguchi sat, puzzled, “So.. does that mean that you indirectly created all life, since we’re all stardust.”

Tsukishima’s eyes widened, “I had nothing to do with humans, don’t blame humanity on me. They’ll end up saying I was their saviour and their downfall.”

Yamaguchi tried to hold in his laughter, “You’re so defensive, Tsukki!”

“This conversation is way too existential for this time of day.” he started flicking through the pages once more, but Yamaguchi knew that he was smiling just as equally as he was.

“Oh, what are you showing me now?” he linked his arm with Tsukishima’s.

Tsukishima sighed, stilling his hands as he looked at Yamaguchi, “I will show you the Orion family once, and then we’ll never have to look at it again.”

Yamaguchi grinned at him, “Deal.”

* * *

“Are you sure I’m doing this right?” Tsukishima asked quietly as settled his arms around Yamaguchi’s waist.

“This is fine, as long as you’re comfortable with it that is.”

“Do you want to take off your glasses?” he asked, his hands hovering on Tsukishima’s shoulders.

“Sure, go for it.”

Yamaguchi carefully removed his glasses from his face, placing them on top of the bedside table.

“How’s that?”

“I’m sure I’ll figure it out either way.”

When Tsukishima had asked him about showing him how to kiss him better, he never thought he would be shaking this much. Yamaguchi looked just as nervous as he did, even though they had kissed already a few times before. They were sitting on Yamaguchi’s bed, the slightly open window allowed for the summer breeze to blow in and the sound of cicadas could be heard faintly in the distance.

Tsukishima hoped that Yamaguchi couldn’t tell that his heart was practically beating through his chest, but considering how close they were sitting, his hope had likely fallen short.

“Oh, yeah, it’s fine.” he nodded, distinctly smelling the shampoo that Yamaguchi regularly used.

“Okay.” he breathed as he brought his hand up to Tsukishima’s neck, his face coming even closer than it already had been. “Can I kiss you now?”

Tsukishima nodded before leaning in closer, watching as Yamaguchi tilted his head and brought their lips together. Yamaguchi’s lips were soft against his, he hoped Yamaguchi could say the same about his, though he wasn’t exactly sure he could call his own anything appealing. He felt Yamaguchi’s hands trail up into his hair and Tsukishima broke their kiss for a moment, resting his forehead against the others.

“Did you not like that?” he gazed up at him.

Tsukishima quickly cleared his throat, “No, I did.”

“Want to try again?”

“Sure.” he replied as Yamaguchi placed a gentle peck on his lips once more before kissing him properly again. Tsukishima sighed against his mouth, almost forgetting to breathe. Tsukishima hands trailed under the other’s shirt, and Yamaguchi felt it was safe to bring his hand to Tsukishima’s hair once again.

Yamaguchi slowly moved his mouth across as he licked along Tsukishima’s bottom lip, eliciting a noise from the taller boy. He pulled back instantly, examining the look across Tsukishima’s face.

“Sorry, Tsukki.” he smiled, feeling their breaths as their lips hovered close together.

“No, it was good.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mhmm” he hummed as he kissed the top of Yamaguchi’s forehead, and moving down to place another on his cheek.

Yamaguchi giggled at the contact before looking back up to him.

“Hey, Tsukki, do you remember the first time I kissed you?” he asked, gently rubbing circles into the back of his neck.

Tsukishima gave him a confused look and Yamaguchi stopped moving.

“Of course I remember, we were out my back yard.”

Yamaguchi sighed in relief against his chest, “Do you remember why we were out there in the first place?"

“Um,” he held Yamaguchi closer to him, holding him tight as he trailed one hand up his back, “I remember that I needed to tell you something, but I’m not exactly sure what that was.”

Yamaguchi worryingly raised his head slightly.

“Probably that I liked you, or something to that extent.” Tsukishima finished.

He smiled up at him in realisation, “At least you remember that much.”

“What? You think I’d forget?” he could almost hear him smirking.

“I know I won’t.” he beamed as he brought his lips to Tsukishima’s once more. Tsukishima kissed him back just as happily.

The darkness behind his closed eyes had never felt more comfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Constellation Encyclopaedia with Orion on the cover is [an actual thing](http://www.amazon.co.jp/%E6%98%9F%E5%BA%A7%E3%81%AE%E4%BA%8B%E5%85%B8-%E6%B2%BC%E6%BE%A4-%E8%8C%82%E7%BE%8E-%E8%84%87%E5%B1%8B-%E5%A5%88%E3%80%85%E4%BB%A3/dp/4816343644).


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